Let's face it: finals week is awful. Most college students will agree wholeheartedly. However, if they cope how I do, lying to yourself and others becomes first nature. While it's slightly sad, and not at all healthy, it's only for a week, right? Here's a phrase dictionary in case you're communicating with a student during this awful time.

"I had plenty of sleep last night"

"I had right around 20 minutes, I think. I couldn't actually tell you. It's all a blur."

"This isn't too much coffee."

"This is my third cup in 30 minutes. I can see sounds, but I'm still somehow exhausted. What?"

"I definitely showered recently. I'm a hygienic individual."

"Any pleasing smell coming from me is the result of deodorant and perfume. I'm also wearing the same sweatpants that I put on a week ago."

"I'm so ready for this final."

"I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope there's a butt-ton of multiple choice."

"This is a thought-out, well-written paper."

"This is a piece of &!#(*&! paper full of !)(@*!)#*, but I'm submitting it anyway."

"Oh that? I already turned that in."

"I've completely forgotten about that assignment and will now immediately finish it all in an adrenaline-induced panic. Thanks for reminding me."

"I'm dead inside."

"I'm actually feeling all the feels at once and am about to cry and/or punch something perpetually."

"I'm fine."

"I am NOT fine! I have three papers to do, one of which has to be 12 pages with four scholarly sources, two finals tomorrow that I haven't studied for whatsoever, I smell strange, I haven't seen the light of day in at least a week, I don't know what reality is anymore. . ."

*brain fizzles out into a white noise of panic*

Good luck to all college students!