Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Lifestyle

The 5 Types Of Coffee That Say Everything About You

Whether you're an American running on Dunkin' or feeling bougie at Starbucks, your coffee order says A LOT about you, or at least from my judgement filled perspective it does.

Jessica Reider

Jul 05, 2018

Orlando, Florida

646

Christin Hume

Whether you're an American running on Dunkin' or feeling bougie at Starbucks, your coffee order says A LOT about you. Also, everyone in line behind you is 100% judging you based on your order, so no pressure. If you're a coffee enthusiast like me and every Starbucks barista in the world, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So without further ado, here are a few coffee orders, and what they tell others about you.

1. Old Reliable (Cream & Sugar)

Cream & Sugar

Annie Spratt

Odds are, if you order a simple coffee with just cream and sugar, you are a pretty normal person. Or maybe that's just a farce to make us think you're a normal person?! Judging people by their coffee purchase is not a science or anything. Regardless, this coffee order is for the old reliable in all of us. There is something quite relaxing in having to say no more than "I'll take a regular coffee" when you get to the barista, and I think they appreciate it too.

2. Death Metal (Black Coffee)

Black Coffee

Lee Weng

Wow, you are very, very hardcore and I am very, very intimidated. Or maybe you're just a masochist, how should I know? More than likely though, you were a rebellious teen that transitioned into a tortured soul of an adult. You take shit from no one and honestly, you need to buy some mints. Keep on keeping on you metal mother fuckers.

3. Diabetes In A Cup (Light & Sweet)

Light & Sweet

Anete Lūsiņa

Oh, hey I'm sorry did you want some coffee with that creamer and those dollops of sugar? Oh no? O--okay boss! I'm not even super sure this qualifies as a coffee order when in reality you are ordering a coffee flavored beverage but oh, well. I guess milkshakes at 9 am are pretty frowned upon. Though if you do order this way, you're probably a pretty care-free and fun-loving person. It's like you don't even need coffee but you know it's helping you look way more adult.

4. Fancy McSmartypants (The Latte)

The Latte

RawPixel

Now I'm not saying we all think you're pretentious, wait...actually that's exactly what I'm saying. If you have such a luxurious life that your morning routine can include a drink that is primarily steamed milk and foam, well I think you understand how I feel about you. The worst part is how specific drink orders get, just take your latte and shut up about the almond milk. The worst offenders? The iced latte drinkers. Like hello, that is technically an espresso with ice and milk, get a new name.

5. I'm Still 8 Years Old (The Mocha)

The Mocha

RawPixel

Okay seriously, I don't care how much you try to tell me that you're drinking a coffee, all I see is a hot chocolate. If your drink looks like, smells like and tastes like a chocolate milk, then guess what? IT ISN'T A COFFEE. Just grow a pair and order what you really want, a hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows on top. I honestly would judge you less.

Friendly note: This article is totally satirical and in reality, we are collectively judging the people who say they prefer tea.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Entertainment

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

118591

Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less

best beatles lyrics

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

169301

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

waitlisted

Recommended for you

The 5 Types Of Coffee That Say Everything About You

Whether you're an American running on Dunkin' or feeling bougie at Starbucks, your coffee order says A LOT about you, or at least from my judgement filled perspective it does.

1. Old Reliable (Cream & Sugar)

2. Death Metal (Black Coffee)

3. Diabetes In A Cup (Light & Sweet)

4. Fancy McSmartypants (The Latte)

5. I'm Still 8 Years Old (The Mocha)

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

Trending Topics

Top Creators

Trending Stories

Best of Lifestyle

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments

Subscribe to our
Newsletter