What California Beaches Are Actually Like

What California Beaches Are Actually Like

One girl's combined (satirical) experiences.

Having lived in California for most of my life, I've had quite a bit of experience visiting the ocean. It's usually warm enough to go, especially if you're further south in the state. But it's not all Hollywood says it is.

When you arrive at any given California beach, it probably seems like a pretty normal day. The sun is shining, the palm trees are waving hello, and you and your friends are ready to relax. You'll continue to be ready as you spend half an hour trying to find a free parking space. As you slowly circle the same blocks over and over again, feeling cramped and annoyed in your hot car, you seriously consider just paying the overpriced parking meter so you can get on with your day. Just as you're about to give up, you find an open spot. Ha! Take that, capitalism!

The sea breeze ruffles your hair as you pass by the cute little shops surrounding the beach. They catch your eye, but the debate between good-looking food and a wallet with money in it stop you from buying every seafood entree and açai bowl you see. As you leave the concrete street towards the beach itself, you decide to take off your shoes to feel the warm sand between your toes. After about six or seven steps, that warmth feels like walking on the coals of Hell itself. Not to mention, there are rocks and shells and shards of who-knows-what littered everywhere. Ow ow ow, okay, putting my shoes back on right now, you think in defeat. You're going to have sand in your shoes for several days. Accept your fate. Blisters on your soles are worse.

You and your friends walk for several minutes, past hordes of sunbathers and sandcastle builders, before finding an open spot. You quickly set up your towels and begin slathering on the sunscreen. Taking in your surroundings, you notice there's some gross-looking seaweed near the shore. In fact, it's everywhere. A seagull (AKA the most obnoxious birds) lands five feet away from your friend's towel, daring to waddle closer and closer until one of you scares it off. Repeat ad infinitum. The day is so warm that a pleasant drowsiness quickly distracts you.

The ocean, glittering blue, is calling your name. You and whichever friends actually go in the water quickly skip over to the cool damp sand that doesn't burn your skin. A wave ripples through the water and finds its way to your feet.

No matter where you are in California, the water is always FREEZING.

You and your friends spend the next ten minutes yelling about how cold it is and slowly inching your way into the water. One of your buddies dived right in and has spent that time swimming and warming up to the ice-cold ocean. That's probably a smart idea. You can't bring yourself to do it, and settle for letting your feet go numb as you stand knee-high in the water, letting seaweed brush your toes. It's not so bad, you start to think, but then a giant wave crashes through and splashes water up to your chest. Nope nope nope, goodbye water. You haul ass out of there.

The burning coals of sand are now a pleasant temperature to your numb feet. However, if you thought you were sandy before, you underestimated how annoying sand can be. It sticks everywhere, especially to your wet legs. As you sit and sunbathe, trying to regain some body heat, a random gust of wind every now and then will keep you from getting too relaxed. You're basically coated in sand and you begin to seriously wonder why you like going to the beach in the first place.

As the afternoon turns into evening, the sun begins its descent West. The once-blue sky glows red, orange, gold, pink, even a little purple. Ocean waves crash a little harder as the shore rises higher. You take a moment to appreciate the incredible view in front of you. California's one of the lucky ones. The vivid sunset you just witnessed stays in your mind as you drive back home. That is until you look in the mirror and realized you missed a spot with the sunscreen. A raging red sunburn reminds you of the glowing red evening sky. You're going to have a weird tan. Looks like a good excuse to go back to the beach.

Cover Image Credit: DiscoverSD.com

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Taylor Swift Needs To Stop Exploiting Her Exes

It's getting to be excessive.


Everyone loves a good Taylor Swift song. And let's be honest, we've probably cried to them at least once in our lifetime. But did you ever stop to consider what the songs were really about?

Each and every album is made off of a heartbreak that she endured at the hands of a famous person. All of her songs are about how she thought she was in love, but the guy had other plans and left her to pick up the pieces. It's the same in every song and every album, and it's starting to get old.

In a recent interview with Ellen, Taylor Swift yet again exploited one of her past relationships. She talked about wanting to find true love, and it "wouldn't be by a man who ended their relationship in a 25-second phone call."

It seems like Taylor Swift is never in the wrong, and we never get the other point of view of what happened. She has talked about this relationship many times, and even relationships that didn't happen but she longed for them to like in the song "Dear John."

Having been a fan of Swift for years, there comes a certain time when the antics get old. We all have relationships, good and bad, but not a lot of people are out there talking about the ending of their relationships.

It seems that she dates guys for their notoriety and to then write about them after it's all over. For example, Harry Styles. She dated him for a few short months and when her next album came out, people were jumping over themselves to figure out what songs she had written about him.

She even went so far to make fun of him at the VMA's as she impersonated a British accent during her song "We Are Never Getting Back Together." It's stunts like these that make me tired of her.

Taylor Swift is obviously a good performer and singer. However, she needs to start taking her inspiration from elsewhere. She can't keep dating people to only use them for inspiration later or to use her breakups as a way of a nice check.

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