I feel like this shouldn’t be a question, but as of late my guy friends have just lost their minds on “yoga pants” that are not, in fact, even yoga pants. I would like to break it down for ya now on what are and what are not in fact pants.

1) Panty hose - These are not pants. They are the thinnest of jokes that your grandmother always suggests you wear with your short skirt and you have to be all no Mammy no one wears those any more, which of course she doesn’t understand because at this point Wi-Fi is still too complicated of a concept for her. They are mainly in existence to give legs a smoothness appeal as they come in nude and nude only. 

2) Stockings - These are thicker versions of panty hose that can be colored. Hey, if you’re really into it I believe they make them in a plaid variety, but still not pants. They are what people in the North wear when they are adults I think, who really knows? It doesn’t really apply to us Southerners. 

3) Tights and/or leggings - This, my male counterparts, is what gets your winter into a tizzy. Tights and/or leggings, not yoga pants. Tights and leggings are usually of the black variety from LuLu Lemon or Victoria’s Secret. These are what you flip your sh*t over, and to confuse them with yoga pants is just ludicrous.

4) Yoga pants - These are pants that flare out at the bottom, unlike leggings which end straight. Yoga pants can also be made of things like cotton, wool, etc. not spandex like tights. In other words, your anaconda don’t want none unless it got bun hun and you will not find anaconda in yoga pants.   

So I hope I have solved some problems for you guys and we can all start calling things by their proper names. Remember you love tights and/or leggings, NOT yoga pants! Get it right, get it tight!