If you're a theatre kid, sometimes you are going to hear or say some bizarre things while rehearsing for a show. There is no avoiding it.
Here's a list of things that I've said or heard said that every theatre kid can relate to:
"One more time."
"I don't believe you."
"Just do it."
"It needs more glitter."
"There's too much glitter."
"I was trying to sing, but I started choking on glitter."
"I love it! Keep it!"
"Let's run it again."
"It's a new musical about the life of founding father, Alexander Hamilton."
"If I hear one more person singing 'Hamilton', I swear..."
"Hey, this time I want you to stick your butt in my face. Literally, butt crack to face. It'll be hilarious."
"Stop moving your lips when you're trying to kiss her!"
"I'm about to throw my shoe at you!"
"You guys aren't going to like this."
"Is my beard on straight?"
"It needs more emotion."
"Your scream doesn't sound scared enough."
"Can you do my age lines?"
"That slap was pitiful."
"That slap was so much better!"
"Someone needs to go help the guys with their makeup."
"Run and tackle him."
"Does my hair need more baby powder, or is it gray enough?"
"We're going to flip-flop the whole set."
"We have no sound! You're going to have to make the noises yourselves!"
"It's going to rain on stage."
"Remember that time we wanted to try and make it rain on stage?"
"If your a tree, make sure you're swaying in sync!"
"HANG UP YOU COSTUMES."
"We need action noise!"
"Make sure you're actually listening to whoever is talking."
"We aren't going to use any stage lights."
"Can you learn how to juggle?"
"Act like you just got hit in the nuts."
"Work on your accents!"
"We're just going to wing it."
"Just sling him over your shoulder. He'll be fine."
"I need more vocals when he punches you."
"Quick, quick, quick! Sit, sit, sit!"
"This scene needs more energy!"
"It's sturdy, I promise."
"That kiss was HOT!"
Yes. These are things that actually get said, many times on a regular basis and in the most serious of ways. And while we realize we sound absolutely insane, there is nothing else we would rather be doing. The show must go on, right?