Daisy Trauff was in the middle of cutting holes across her live neighbor’s body when she heard a knock on the door.
“Shit,” she mumbled, wiping some blood off her cheek. Her neighbor tried to scream, but Daisy Trauff kicked his head and he was quiet. Daisy Trauff then gently covered the body with a plastic tarp and called out, “One moment!” She ran to the bathroom, washed her hands, and dried her face; no blood was left on her body after she threw her smock into the shower and pulled the curtain. She flushed the toilet to be safe and rushed to her guest.
There was a suave looking man leaning on the door frame who looked up when Daisy Trauff opened the door.
“Greetings friend! I am looking for one Daisy Trauff.”
“Present. Whom, may I ask, is asking?”
“My name is Simon Hauser.”
“The Quiet Killer??” Daisy Trauff’s eyes went wide at the sight of the inspiration for her current occupation.
“In the flesh.” Simon Hauser was used to fame amongst fellow serial killers. He took the exclamation with a shrug and a knowing smile.
“Oh man! You’re an icon, sir. Your work is absolutely legendary.”
“Hate to brag, but what can I say? It’s a gift.”
“Come in come in! I’m actually in the middle of a project right now.” Daisy Trauff stepped aside and Simon Hauser entered the apartment, surveying the slight mess that was Mr. Moore, the neighbor.
“Very nice! I must say, I’m impressed.” Daisy Trauff felt a surge of pride at her idol’s praise.
“Please don’t think me rude, Mr. Hauser, but what brings you here? Surely you must have more important people to see.”
“Dear Ms. Trauff, I’m here to visit you! I’ve heard so many great things about your work and I thought, ‘I just have to see this woman myself!’”
Daisy Trauff lifted a hand to her heart, truly touched. “Mr. Hauser, I must say it is an honor you think so highly of me.” At that moment, Daisy Trauff’s neighbor woke up, and began to shriek and thrash. “Please be quiet, Mr. Moore. Can’t you see I have company?”
“Ha ha,” Simon Hauser chuckled. “It is alright. I understand how some victims can be.” Simon Hauser, The Quiet Killer, kicked Mr. Moore right in the gaping hole under his left rib. Silently, of course. Mr. Moore fell into a pleasant blackout.
“Would you like anything to eat or drink, Mr. Hauser?”
“Oh no, I’m alright thank you. If you don’t mind, Ms. Trauff, I would love to help you finish off Mr. Moore here.”
“Of course! By all means, make yourself comfortable.”
“Such a polite hostess you are, Ms. Trauff,” Daisy Trauff’s guest replied, removing his jacket and pulling on a second smock that had been hanging on a nearby hook. Wordlessly, he picked up the axe that had been propped up against Daisy Trauff’s couch and hacked open Mr. Moore’s skull. Daisy Trauff was in awe, watching Simon Hauser take each swing with the same wonder of a young child at their first baseball game.
Once Mr. Moore, the neighbor, was completely disemboweled, Daisy Trauff began clapping. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as Simon Hauser glowingly accepted the praise. He then removed the smock and wrapped up the remains of Mr. Moore.
Simon Hauser approached his hostess and asked, “May I trouble you for a cup of coffee, Ms. Trauff?”
“Would be my pleasure, Mr. Hauser.” The two serial killers began to share their favorite stories over coffee as if they were old friends catching up after a good deal of time apart.
“Now don’t take this the wrong way, Mr. Hauser, but sometimes your clean up is a little messy. This is just something I personally have observed.”
“No hard feelings, Ms. Trauff. I know, it is a flaw of mine to get a little lackadaisical coming off of a high. You understand, right?”
“Completely, Mr. Hauser. Please let it be known that if you ever need any help, give me a call. I am notorious for leaving a spotless sight, which I believe is why it has taken my work so long to be noticed.”
“I would like nothing more than a friendship like that with you, Ms. Trauff.”
“Here, Mr. Hauser,” Daisy Trauff said, grabbing a pen and a pad of paper from the drawer next to her. She wrote out her number and handed it to her new friend.
“Well, Ms. Trauff,” said Simon Hauser, The Quiet Killer. “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”
