Poetry on Odyssey: Wednesdays are for hope and the sky is for crying

Poetry on Odyssey: Wednesdays are for hope and the sky is for crying

Underwater / Things look the same
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Check out more of Mira's writing and poetry here.

Wednesdays are for hope and the sky is for crying

Underwater

things look the same

if you close your eyes and use your hands

imagine if your only contact with water

was the birdbath outside

she put it there for you don't break her heart

and say it's not the one you wanted

Home Depot isn’t open at 2 am

but dad’s wood shop is

he asked us not to use his tools

but maybe since it is after hours

there will be things that he will never know.


Can’t count past ten

past ten

enough times to get to one hundred

dream sheep don’t need to eat

but you buy them alfalfa over and over and

over again no matter how many times I tell you

not to go to the feed store

on Tuesdays at 3 when school gets out

just down the street

don’t call in sick it doesn’t matter anymore

no one takes the roll on the corner of lost and

found.


Cross off the things you do

as you do

as you do them so they know they are done

it is for someone else, not for you,

for the archives, they will create from the papers

in your life

from the letters and the tickets and the notes

that were passed under desks and through sweaty hands

ink smeared across a blend of

print and cursive

you have ink from that leaky fountain pen on your hand

your mom will make you wash it off even though you think it looks

artsy.


Hello!

Answer the phone only when you want to

the other end of the line

is always somebody but not always

some body

who are we to animals and dirt when

nature calls

we are the people who invented language

give me their number

I have a complaint;

I can never find the words that I am looking for

and I need to know where they go to hide

when I’m not looking.


Give me your high fives

your sarcastic comments that no one understands

and the pennies in the front pocket of your jeans

I will throw them into a fire

I created from the heat of the moment

I will cast a spell on people who have wronged you

please tell me where to sit

when nothing seems right and

the world is crying

I cannot mend things if I cannot see

the broken parts.


Anger is permissible in bowling alleys

and sometimes in public swimming pools

although be careful of who you are with

because I hear that the rules are different

depending on what your childhood was like

and whether you put ketchup on your fries

there is a right choice but the only way to know

is to try.


Run away

from most things because usually that can work

it is okay

if not everyone you love

is the love of your life

and it is okay

if everyone you love

teaches you something about yourself

write it down

and put it in that drawer

of stuff that doesn’t belong anywhere else.

Cover Image Credit: Mira Rosenkotz

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10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

A comprehensive do-it-yourself guide to being the girl every guy wants.
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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

---

And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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