I like makeup. I don’t wear “a full face” of makeup every day but I like to typically put on mascara and a little under eye concealer. A couple of days ago I woke up to a slightly painful irritation in both of my eyes. My eyes were like two bright red cherries and every time my eyes would water they would burn. Needless to say, I went to the doctor.
My doctor told me it was a mild bacterial infection. I simply had to use warm compresses over my eyes in order to diminish the pain and redness. I was relieved to hear the doctor say that I wouldn’t have to go on antibiotics or stay confined to my room for a while. However, once she told me that I would have to throw out the mascara and eye makeup, my stomach turned.
I used mascara and eye makeup almost every day. How could I reveal to the world what my face looks like without a touch of cover up? I would bravely have to reveal the dark purple bags under my eyes and my annoyingly short and stiff lashes. And, since I could not wear any eye makeup, there would be no point in wearing any other kind of cosmetic gunk. I would have to abandon my beloved foundation, powder, blush, and bronzer along with my “go-to” concealer and mascara (which I had recently bought so that is awesome!).
I had to face my true face and let the people I encounter in college notice all of my flaws. As I continued to complain about the fact that my blemishes were exposed, I slowly started to come to a realization. Why do I obsess over putting on concealer and mascara every day? Do I do that because it is a representation of my character or because I’m craving some distorted version of societal acceptance?
I stared at my face in the mirror this morning and realized that I don’t need makeup. Of course, I enjoy blending in the colors of my eyeshadow and creating “a look” that I think is pretty, but I don’t need it. I am who I am and I don’t need to wear makeup all of the time solely because I don’t want others to judge. So I have a pimple on my right temple, is that a big deal? I have stayed up the last four nights until 4 am studying for finals, do the circles under my eyes repulse you? I have insecurities and flaws but my face is who I am. My natural face, no makeup and all, is a part of my identity.
I realized that I make so many decisions in my life that are based on my constant desire to feel accepted. Why can’t girls just love themselves? If I don’t even love myself, how will anyone else?
I need to embrace my naked face.
I need to stop being fearful of my face but instead, face my fears.
