Every single day, it feels like I'm waiting to get a news alert that there has been another mass shooting. They are happening so often that while I'm in class, at the movies, or basically anywhere public, I can't help but think in the back of my mind, "I really hope no one comes in with an assault rifle and kills us all."

My mind often wanders and I think of where I would run or where I would hide if a shooter did actually come in. And then I snap back into whatever it was that I was doing and try to not think about how easily I and all of the people around me could be murdered.

These are not thoughts that should be weighing heavily on my mind.

When I was scrolling through Twitter a few days after the El Paso and Dayton shootings, I saw a video of Times Square and in it, a motorcycle backfires, but the crowd instantly thinks it's a gunshot. Everyone starts running away from the source of the sound and within seconds a huge chunk of Times Square was almost empty. Several Twitter users' reactions to the video were that it was showing what it looks like when an entire country has PTSD. I already knew that millions of Americans had been negatively impacted by gun violence, but seeing the effects of it in a video made it even more heartbreaking.

The Times Square video has been replaying in my mind ever since I saw it. It's unbelievable that no matter how many children, students, teachers, friends, and family members are murdered because of assault rifles, there are still so many people against effective gun control. As the death toll rises and the number of mass shootings continues to grow, it feels more and more terrifying that there are so many people reacting nonchalantly.

And on top of all of it, these shooters are often motivated to commit these mass shootings because of their racism, sexism, and xenophobia. For example, the El Paso shooting happened because the terrorist wanted to kill as many Latinxs as possible. The ease with which people can get assault rifles has helped make it possible for terrorists to murder as many marginalized people as they want.

I also came across a tweet by Geraldine DeRuiter, a contributor for Buzzfeed, that perfectly put my fear into words.

"Whenever I'm in a public space, I think about what would happen if a mass shooting broke out. It's a constant, low-level anxiety that follows me everywhere. I wonder if it's just me. I don't think it is."

Unfortunately, it is not just her because the vast majority of people I have spoken with have told me they also deal with this same low-level anxiety. I want to be able to go into public spaces and not have the constant fear of whether or not there is someone in the crowd plotting to shoot us lingering in the back of my mind.

I am sick and tired of having this fear looming over my shoulder. This is no way to live. The entire country has been adversely affected by our lack of gun control, but the ones that have by far been affected the most are people of color. We must do right by them and by the countless lives that have been lost due to gun violence.

I don't want this fear to be with me for the rest of my life.

I want to know that I won't come across someone in public with an assault rifle.

I want to know that the people that do own guns have had thorough background checks and that they did not get a gun solely for the purpose of murdering people of color.