I still remember the days my grandmother used to take me on long walks along the summer grass. The sun was always shining on the small roots of the leaves on the ground. I remember noticing how even though the roots were small, they still managed to stick out. Even though there were other things that could attract people to the parts of the grass, somehow the mind always seemed to lead to the roots or more precisely put, where it all started -it's origins.
I have learned to realize early on that if you come from a culture that is different from the mainstream culture, eventually you will have to choose. And sometimes, the choosing wasn't an easy process..
Growing up as a Korean American in the U.S., I have often felt the need to have to choose between the two cultures that I live by. Even with friends, I would be the outsider that is stuck somewhere in the middle. Mostly whitewashed on the inside and yellow as a banana on the outside.
On some days, I would choose to be the "white" version of myself. I would wear colorful jerseys and eat fast food and dye my hair with streaks of blonde and gold. On other days, I would feel the need to relocate to the Asian part of me. I would wear neutral colors, put the signature black eyeliner on, and think of Asian American rights that have long come past. The part of me that has always been kept hidden for whatever reason. Ultimately, also known as the "roots" of the grass I would see whenever I went on summer walks with my grandmother. I would always have a desire to reopen this side of me and let it shine, just like those grassroots in the summer daylight.
Sometimes, we just want to preserve those "roots" that we have kept hidden. Whenever I redye my own hair roots to black, I get the feeling that I am metaphorically preserving some of the roots that I may have left behind sometimes.
-Don't become a part of the culture, but make the culture become a part of you-Sometimes, we strive extra hard to become "a part of" something we might have left behind. However, it is more meaningful if we allow that thing (culture in this case), to become a part of our daily lives. Maybe it is having a drink or a meal that is associated with this culture. Or maybe it is reading something translated from a language the culture uses. This way, we will become less likely to forget "this" part of ourselves.
Try to respond naturally to change-Change can be scary. Whether it is moving to a new place or leaving behind a friend group, change can cause us to have our worst nightmares. But at the same time, change can help us to learn more about ourselves and what we want in ourselves, as a person. Culture can become a part of this change. If there is a newly formed cultural gap inside a person, then a change will be likely to happen.
Be aware of cultural surroundings and vibes, but don't feel the need to always cater to them- Sometimes, there are certain groups of people that may want us to become a part of their culture. This shouldn't automatically mean you should cater to their wants. Culture is an innate part of a person and isn't something we have to compromise. There can be multiple cultures we want to have in our lives. But compromise can only create more gaps between our existing cultures/the cultures we already have.
