Roommates: we dream of them growing up, the person who will be our best friend, someone to have movie nights with or talk to when needed. A person who will always have your back. Well, our childhood dreams are not always going to come true, instead, you might end up with an experience from your nightmares.
I’ve had a few roommates in my life. Some of them were great but others, not so much. Because of these experiences, I've dealt with a lot of the "worst things" a roommate can do situations and I've found ways to cope and come out on top. There comes a time when you don't need the "what's a good roommate" articles. You're way past that. And this is where all the advice I have from experience comes in to play. From roommates who don't know what a swiffer is to the roommates who don't understand privacy, you can survive living with them. Here are 11 tips for your own survival until you can get out!
1. Don’t loan them anything
Or borrow anything from them in fact. You'll be walking into a fight no matter what. Play it safe and keep each other's belongings separate as much as possible. Even food can become tricky. I’ve had roommates offer me a chip, like a single chip, and then try and charge me for the whole bag.
2. Stand your ground
The worst thing I ever did when dealing with my bad roommates were let them walk all over me. It made me feel small, vulnerable, weak, and scared. Don't let them get/do whatever they want. Speak out when you're bothered by something they did.
3. Make sure you’re all on the same page
Before ever moving in with each other find time to lay out the rules/expectations. Might seem pretty elementary school — like something we all did in classrooms — but it honestly will really help you both deal with each other throughout the living situation. Print it out and both sign it. This way if there's ever a dispute you have something to hold each other accountable for their actions. Make sure you each have your own copy. You have no idea how much I wish I would've done this with my roommate. If you can find a mutual party to witness the creation/signing even better.
4. Don’t be afraid to get out
My other biggest regret is not leaving when it started affecting my mental and physical health. I was in such a bad situation I didn't even feel safe in my own room. For months I slept at my boyfriends.
5. Get help
Don't be afraid to get others involved. You don't have to go through it alone. The worst thing you can do is hold it all in. It'll hurt you both mentally and physically.
6. Initiate house rules
If something is happening that's bothering you or upsetting you, talk to your roommate and make a new rule. This goes back to the whole putting your foot down thing. Speak out because if you don't, it'll affect you worst. If they're not cleaning, start charging them a cleaning fee. Make it a rule that if someone isn't playing a part in the household chores then there's a fine to pay.
7. Take control
Is your roommate terrible at communicating important information or paying bills on time? Then don't leave it up to them. Find a way to put the power into your hand as much as possible. Less possibility of you being pushed around by them.
8. Don’t stoop too low
Maintain your values and don't become them. Be better then them and they can't ever use your actions against you. Just because they’re being a jerk doesn’t mean you have to be one too.
9. Let it go! Let it go!
Don't let their actions have a lasting negative effect on you. Saying your piece early on and not holding it in will save you a lot of distress in the long run.
10. Lean on your friends
Your friends and family are crucial to surviving having a bad roommate. Rant to them and ask them for advice. They’ll be lifesavers, trust me.
11. Look for the good in it all
You've definitely learned some life lessons from this experience. You didn't just get a headache and feel the need for a drink from this experience!
You're not alone in this struggle. A lot of people have had to deal with the nightmare roommate. You'll get through the arrangement and then all you have to do is run! Get out and away from that person. What really sucks is when your full-time roommate is a good friend. Then you're stuck trying to protect the friendship and their feelings by letting your own emotional health become victim. Even if they are your friend, speak your mind! There's not a great one answer solution to bad roommates but there are ways to cope and stay sane.
