What Being On Your Own Can Teach You

Sometimes, specific periods in your life require abrupt changes in your environment, friendships, and relationships to allow you to grow. Although these transitions can be scary, they are crucial in allowing us to blossom into the people we are meant to be. As for me, it's been about a month since my last relationship ended - which ended on fairly good terms, actually, and was more due to a realization that things weren't working out and that I was no longer feeling at peace in the relationship - and I've had a lot of time to reflect on myself, my life, and the kind of person I want to be.

The reality is that you really can lose part of yourself and become a different person when you're in a relationship if you're not careful. This doesn't necessarily mean it was the other person's fault; sometimes we're just not yet mature enough to both remain whole and love another person completely. I've been taking this time to make improvements in my own life, putting energy into positive things, and reconnect with what was previously more important.

I've rediscovered the importance of platonic friendships. I've been spending more time with my friends from my a cappella group, who have all been so lovely and helpful in this process for me. They've been a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen; they've offered kind words of encouragement and their time. I've been laughing with them, going out to eat with them, and doing homework with them. I am so grateful for every single one of these girls and the love they've shown towards me.

I've also rediscovered the importance of communication with your family members. I've especially been able to appreciate the last few occasions they've been in town and we spent time together. My sisters have given me good advice and support, and my brothers have helped just by being their loving, goofy selves. My parents have also been a steady rock for me and I know I can count on them. Rekindling those friendships with your family members, especially if they are good to you, helps so much in times of uncertainty and loneliness.

In addition, I've been making an effort to improve my physical and mental health. I've started running again and being more consistent with working out. Taking care of your body helps take care of your mind and emotions; however, I felt like I needed something more, so I recently began therapy through the counseling services provided at my university. I've only been to one session so far, but I feel like I'm already on the right track to processing what I've been going through in a healthy way.

Finally, I've been trying to strengthen my spirituality and faith in God. I'm starting to get more involved at the Newman Center at my university; recently, I became a part of the music ministry. I feel so happy and fulfilled when I sing or play music for the glory of God and I feel like I'm right where I belong. I've also been more conscious of my prayer life and trying to be in a state of grace.

For me personally, all these things have helped me regain a sense of who I am in these transitional periods, and honestly, I feel much happier and more peaceful than I have in a long time. I do wish my last boyfriend the best in his life and endeavors, but sometimes, people just need to grow at a distance. I know the time I spend working on myself can only make me a better woman in the long run.