As many of you know i am, or should i say was, happily married. All that came crashing down in this past week. I learned my wife was having an affair and refused to end it.
That put me in the position of either I could leave her, or stay and be hurt for possibly the rest of my life. Either way i get hurt severely. So I had to be a man and tell her that we are not going to work out. I did that earlier today and I learn he has seen parts of her only i should be seeing. Unlike most i do not get mad but just sink further into the sadness and brokenness i am currently feeling.
It is then that she tells me that she still loves me and i just sink to me knees and a major part of me just dies right there. I cannot deny the fact i still love her. Yet she obviously does not love me or have the courage to admit it. So currently I am just sitting here, completely broken and hurt, writing this article to keep myself somewhat sane.
I cannot accept that God would let this happen so at this point i am almost to the point of denying his existence. If he would let this happen to me among the many other things that have gone wrong in my life then he cannot care for us as individuals. It is that simple.
The one good thing that has happened to me has been destroyed and a piece of it has pierced my very soul. I am sorry that this is not like my other articles but i cannot think about anything else besides this single topic. Pursue knowledge in order to see the signs to avoid hurt like this. I wish i would listen to my own advice. I will end this article before ruining your day.
I am not in any way a danger to myself or others so please do not worry about me. I just need some time to figure out myself before trying to make it work with another person.
