A Declaration Of War On Fake Pockets

A Declaration Of War On Fake Pockets

An epidemic that must be stopped right now!
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This is short satirical piece I wrote a couple of years ago for a class assignment in which I had to write something from the point of view of a drama queen. Enjoy:

So you probably know that there are a large number of social issues going around lately in our society such as poverty, equality, whether or not Kim K’s bum is real or not, amongst many others. But something that is barely receiving any attention at all recently is how small or fake girl pockets are in female clothing. Oh the horror! My spirit grows weaker with just the thought of that atrocity!

Where should I start? So last weekend, I was wearing these cute H&M red skinny jeans at this party. My mom called in order to check in on me, and after I hung up, I inserted my iPhone 6s Plus into one of my “pockets.” Next thing I knew, the sound of something hitting the ground was heard across the whole room. Turns out, I failed to notice my skinny jeans’ fatal flaw of having fake pockets incorporated into them, which made the screen of my precious phone crack as well as my heart when it hit the ground. It took me more than a week to fully recover from that tragedy. That was the day I vowed to take revenge on this impending curse and stop it once and for all. Call me Buddha because I feel enlightened and ready to spread my philosophy.

First off, it’s not fair that boys can carry whatever they want in their pockets. Boy pockets are the clothing equivalent to having Mary Poppins’ bag. They can basically survive the whole Zombie Apocalypse with just filling their pockets a bit. They can take with them everything that they need like a phone, wallet, grandma, chewing gum and even the whole darn Chinese Gymnastics team if they want to. But us women are stuck with pockets that can fit as much as three bobby pins and forced by the fashion industry to buy purses. Do you know how hard it is to perfectly match a purse with your outfit? Ugh! Like I needed my life to be even more complicated!

Sometimes I think that I should call president Obama in order to fix this problem because he’s supposed to present change (that’s his purpose, right?). The lack of equal pocket size rights in this world makes me question the whole purpose of feminism anyways. That’s like soooooo sexist. Like, why be able to vote if you’re not even able to place anything in a pocket! Talking about being unproductive! How are we going to be treated as equals when men oppress and laugh at us for our nonexistent pockets! This is our time to fight for equality and below is my battle plan on how we will achieve this goal.

First of all, all fake pocket sellers should be banned and shamed. Let’s have our word known across every social media. We can open a hotline for people experiencing small/fake pocket-related crises. I suggest that all of us, pro-pocket people, to revolt and protests outside every store, mall and factory that are not willing to change towards our favor. We shall all grab our torches and destroy every one of them and take what is ours with fire and blood or die with honor! We shall feast upon their defeat and rejoice on our victories. When our revolution is completed, a better world with improved pockets will be enjoyed by us all. We will be remembered until the end of time for our great and courageous feats. I have a dream, and it’s to stop pocket extinction!

Cover Image Credit: MadAllice

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20 Small Tattoos With Big Meanings

Tattoos with meaning you can't deny.
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It's tough to find perfect tattoos with meaning.

You probably want something permanent on your body to mean something deeply, but how do you choose a tattoo that will still be significant in 5, 10, 15, or 50 years? Over time, tattoos have lost much of their stigma and many people consider them a form of art, but it's still possible to get a tattoo you regret.

So here are 20 tattoos you can't go wrong with. Each tattoo has its own unique meaning, but don't blame me if you still have to deal with questions that everyone with a tattoo is tired of hearing!

SEE RELATED: "Please Stop Asking What My Tattoos Mean"

1. A semi-colon indicates a pause in a sentence but does not end. Sometimes it seems like you may have stopped, but you choose to continue on.


2. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."


3. Top symbol: unclosed delta symbol which represents open to change. Bottom symbol: strategy.


4. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."


5. Viking symbol meaning "create your own reality."


6.Greek symbol of Inguz: where there's a will, there's a way.

7. Psalm 18:33 "He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights."


8. 'Ohm' tattoo that represents 4 different states of consciousness and a world of illusion: waking (jagrat), dreaming (swapna), deep sleep (sushupti), transcendental state (turiya) and world of illusion (maya)


9. Alchemy: symbolizes copper, means love, balance, feminine beauty and artistic creativity.


10. The Greek word “Meraki" means to do something with soul, passion, love and creativity or to put yourself in to whatever you do.


11. Malin (Skövde, Sweden) – you have to face setbacks to be able to go forward.

12. Symbol meaning "thief" from the Hobbit. It was the rune Gandalf etched into Bilbo's door so the dwarves could find his house.


13. “Lux in tenebris" means “light in darkness."

14. Anchor Tattoo: symbolizing strength & stability, something (or someone) who holds you in place, and provides you the strength to hold on no matter how rough things get.

15."Ad Maiora" is translated literally as “Towards greater things." It is a formula of greeting used to wish more success in life, career or love.


16. A glyphs means “explore." It was meant as a reminder for me to never stop exploring.

17. "Aut inveniam viam aut faciam," meaning roughly, "Either I shall find a way, or I will make one."


18. Lotus Flower. It grows in muddy water, and it is this environment that gives forth the flower's first and most literal meaning: rising and blooming above the murk to achieve enlightenment.

19. The zen (or ensō) circle to me represents enlightenment, the universe & the strength we all have inside of us.

20. Two meanings. The moon affirms life. It looks as if it is constantly changing. Can reminds us of the inconsistency of life. It is also symbolizes the continuous circular nature of time and even karma.


SEE ALSO: Sorry That You're Offended, But I Won't Apologize For My Tattoos


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All 6 Of Beyonce's Looks From The Global Citizen Festival Prove She Is Still 'Queen-Bey'

Did I mention that it was all HAND-EMBROIDERED with Swarovski crystals?

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Beyonce means business when it comes to festivals. The Global Citizen Festival was no different, with her custom looks thanks to her team Jenke Ahmed Tailly and Zerina Ackers. Featuring her Atelier Versace catsuit and sequin encrusted suit that featured a map of Africa's fifty-four countries. Beyonce is all about detail, that's why the internet goes crazy when she headlines a festival. Just like she'll never wear the same thing twice, she'll never perform the same way twice.

This festival commemorates one-hundred years since Nelson Mandela's birth. Celebrating his philanthropic and political career while also partying it up with Beyonce and Jay. Throughout the night Bey went through six outfit changes that paid tribute to Africa.

1. Quiteria & George

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Finishing the night with an emerald green Quiteria & George cape dress covered in hundreds of crystals. Proving once again that she can wear any color she pleases.

2. Ashi Studio

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Taking a break from Jay and switching it up for a sweet duet with Ed Sheeran. Wearing a fuschia Ashi Studio gown covered in ruffled tulle for a unique silhouette.

3. Esteban Cortazar

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Pulling out the third look with a highly beaded Esteban Cortazar mini dress accessorizing with traditional Ndebele neck rings. Some took to the internet saying it resembled the Nola costume from the Broadway musical The Lion King which she'll be starring in the live action hit movie next year.

4. Mary Katramtzou

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A personal favorite from the night, a Mary Katramtzou's puff-sleeved sequined bodysuit featuring all 54 African countries on the cape and a pair of thigh-high boots to finish off the look. Did I mention that it was all HAND-EMBROIDERED with Swarovski crystals?

5. Atelier Versace

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Okay, another favorite as well, Atelier Versace catsuit. Featuring a top hat and every color of the rainbow represented within her group of backup dancers. But the yellow is the icing on the cake!

6. Oliver Rousteing

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And last but not least custom Balmain. One of many pieces she has worn by Olivier Rousteing which featured plenty of feathers and Egyptian hieroglyphs.

All of these looks are iconic and different from the last. Beyonce continues to be the front-runner of high-fashion on the stage and off.

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