It was an early week of college and I got another failing grade. I am taking many credits this semester and I honestly feel like the end will never come. I felt stupid when I am taking psychology classes and I can't even understand the terms or what is happening.
I fell in love with psychology back in my first semester of college in the fall of 2016. I was taking a general psych class and thought that it was the coolest thing learning about the brain and the human mind. Learning about addictions and how people are addicted to certain things. Then I took time off of college but I always loved the major.
I decided to come back this year, last semester was hard. I had a teacher I did not particularly like. It was developmental psychology I loved learning about things such as in my childhood things that happened is the reason I think and do certain things. That honestly was mind explosion for me, my love for psychology just grew 10 times more. I realized that that's what I wanted to study that I wanted to find out why people do the things they do and why their brain works the way that it does. But mainly I wanted to help people and help them understand themselves better.
Then the semester started and I realized I cannot do it anymore. I can not study psychology. If I am reading this term and I can not understand it then what is the point in being a psych major? What is the point of following what I am doing? There is not, I can not do it. But then I sit in class and I have a light bulb go off and it all makes sense.
I have the dreams of getting my Ph.D., I have the dream of being a psychologist. I have the dream of helping veterans be a little more comfortable in civilian life. I have a dream to help every single person I possibly can. But if I give up then what's the point? The late nights, the mental breakdowns they will all be useless.
The dreams vanish and those people will not be helped. The students I want to teach one day will not be smarter their love with psychology will be gone. So why give up? As much as some days I wish that I could go to registrars and sign the form to drop out. I choose to get out of bed, go to class and study just a little harder. I choose to go to the teacher's office hour and I can do it. I can achieve everything I put my mind to. I have my friends and my family to keep reminding me of the end goal and the dreams that I have for myself. I will have my associates, my bachelors, my masters, then my Ph.D. I will be a psychologist, a teacher, a counselor, and a mentor.