I can firmly say that biggest mistake I have made in my life is allowing for toxic people to stick around far longer than they deserve to. I’m going to be completely honest—it was hard to recognize that some of the people I considered to be my best friends were the same people who were causing the most drama in my life. But when it comes down to it, I respect myself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer helps me to grow as a person.
Over time, I grew to realize that some relationships just weren’t worth it anymore. A true friendship requires a balance of give and take on both sides. The “giving” comes in the form of being there to support one another, whether that involves comforting each other during times of struggle or applauding one another in times of success. When I realized that there were certain people in my life who actively took what they wanted from me and never gave anything in return, I knew it was time to sit down and reevaluate my circle of friends.
So, here it goes. This is a message to the all of the people who I have decided will no longer be a part of my life.
In my opinion, trust and friendship are things that are earned and they should never be taken for granted. I was willing to offer my trust and my friendship to each of you, until you proved to me that you were entirely undeserving of these things.
I’m not going to apologize for cutting you out of my life, because I’m not sure that you ever belonged in the picture to begin with. I’m not sorry that I held you to such a high standard because there are certain things that should be expected of any decent human being.
Instead, I’m going to leave you with some thoughts on what being a true friend actually looks like. Be prepared to take some notes.
True friendship requires that each person possess a willingness to speak up for the other person.
Do not come running to me to tell me what they said about me behind my back, but rather explain to me why they were so comfortable talking behind my back in front of you.
You are weak. You allow for other people to push you around, to tell you what you should believe in. You have surrendered your right to create opinions and make decisions for yourself. Honestly, I’m not surprised. I could have seen this coming from a mile away. No, I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed that you have let other people take advantage of you yet again.
True friendship is not circumstantial and there are no conditions attached.
I’m not sorry that I was willing to be there for you when you needed a friend and to expect that you would do the same for me. You can’t pick and choose when it is convenient for you to be a caring, reliable friend. I do not need any part-time people in my life. Like most things in life, it’s an all or nothing sort of deal.
True friendship means that you treat others the way you would want to be treated.
The golden rule never gets old. I’m not some old trophy that you can tuck away on a shelf until you decide that you want to take me down and show me off again. I am so tired of being treated like a pawn in one of your immature little games. You need to grow up. You need to mature as a person and as a human being. You need to understand that your actions have repercussions and you are responsible for every person that you hurt along the way.
But above all, the thing you have to understand is that I’ll be okay without you in my life. Sure, it will take some time to fully move on and accept that you are no longer a part of my life. But when it comes down to it, I know that I’m better off without you.
I’m going to keep smiling because I’m comfortable with who I am and where I’m going. I’m choosing to disconnect from the negativity that has been weighing down on me for months. I’m going to be brave and I’m going to walk away. This isn’t me giving up; this is me realizing that I cannot change a person who doesn’t see an issue in their own actions.
To everyone who is facing the choice of having to walk away from a toxic relationship, I encourage you to do it and to do it now. Stop wasting your time and energy on people who don’t deserve it. If you cannot determine where you stand with someone, it is time to stop standing and start walking. Keep your head held high and don’t give them the satisfaction of looking back.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe easy, knowing that I did what I needed to do. I hope that everyone gets the chance to feel this kind of liberation.