Hey, you! Yeah you! Calling all Incoming Freshmen!

Now, I know you're eager to get your housing assignments. Naturally, as a rising Sophomore having just experienced the South Campus way of life, I thought I'd be so kind to share with you a comprehensive guide to Freshman Living. So, have no fear! Here's my:

Wake's Declassified Freshman Dorm Survival Guide.

1. Babcock Hall

Let's start with a place near and dear to my heart, my Freshman crib. You've heard the nicknames (go topcock!), you've never toured it, but you'll be pleasantly indifferent upon arrival to your room. It's not the worst place to live, it's not the best. Your room isn't a matchbox and you have a sink. You will be living in an arctic tundra in the summer and a sauna in the winter, so if you see any girls wearing shorts and uggs in the snow you know where they live (just kidding, Wake girls only wear Hunter's). The lounge is mediocre, BUT the boys and girls wing each have laundry rooms. So have no fear ladies, if your wing's washers and dryers are full just head on over to B-wing because we all know that boys don't do laundry.

2. Luter Hall

Luter is the most...unique out of all Freshman dorms. You have the pleasure of living suite style with a bathroom separating you and your suitemates' rooms. I didn't spend too much time in Luter, mostly because the elevators and stairwells look like something straight out of American Horror Story and my friends in there didn't live on the first floor. I guess, however, there is something to be said about having your "own" bathroom, unless some of your suitemates are just plain nasty and there's no other communal shower or toilet to escape to.

3. Collins Hall

So, I'm a little biased. Pretty much all of my friends lived in Collins my freshman year and I may or may not have had an honorary name tag on a door in one of the halls because everyone thought that I actually lived there. But, anyway, Collins is an awesome place to live if you don't care about noise or privacy. There are lounges on every floor and there's always someone in there (even passed out on one of the couches at 4am on a Thursday morning). It's fun, it's social, and you have your own thermostats in your rooms. However, there are a few tradeoffs to living in this building. Collins is not quiet. Your floor is like a big Italian family that knows way too much about each other and you find at least one of every type of person in the mix - namely quite a few like your loud and rowdy uncle who is yelling about something until the wee hours of the morning. You might want to leave your beds bunked because your room will be just slightly larger than a prison cell, but overall it's liveable and if you're a social butterfly you will find yourself happy to be a resident.

4. Johnson Hall

It's old. It smells a little weird. You have no sink and can barely see the floor even if you and your roommate collectively own 3 articles of clothing. However, if you're into those TLC shows about tiny houses, here you go! It'll be cozy and a little bit of a tight squeeze, so I hope you and your randomly assigned roommate get along well because you're going to be in closer quarters than you want to be in. Also, if anyone at all in Johnson gets sick you best quarantine yourself somewhere else because in the 2 sqft area that they call the entire building you will find that the common cold spreads faster than the black plague.

5. Bostwick Hall

Oh, the sweet sweet smell of toxic black mold in the basement. The relocation of residents allergic to it. The thick, musty air that may or may not be slowly deteriorating your lungs, but no one has died yet so we're not too concerned. I had one of my best friends live in Bostwick and we did a lot of homework in the lounge there because it's so quiet. I'm convinced everyone is slowly suffocating in their rooms, but like I said, no deaths yet so it's liveable. I hear that people who lived there kind of develop this twisted (and probably unhealthy) love for that place, and if you look on the bright side, even if you have a terrible housing registration time for sophomore year, ANYTHING is an upgrade.

6. South Hotel

Yeah, yeah. You got placed into South, lucky you. This is the hall that you toured when you visited. The 5-star hotel. The reason why most Wake freshmen's dreams are crushed when they get to their dorm and realize that they only show you the nicest place you can possibly live, the privilege only a lucky few get to enjoy their freshman year. I'm convinced they slipped Res Life a $20, but I can't confirm. If you try it let me know. Anyway, we all know that South is beautiful, rich living. However, there are a couple of drawbacks. First off, everyone who doesn't live in South will hate you. I'm serious. I'm still bitter. Second, you probably won't know a single soul who lives on your floor other than your roommate because nobody leaves their rooms because they're so nice. Third, if you don't get pulled into Mag or Dogwood sophomore year, you're going to return to the peasant life.

So, there you have it. The low-down on your potential residence halls for your freshman year! Not to fear, anywhere you live will become your home whether it's gross (@Bostwick) or you're living like royalty (@South). It will become near and dear to your heart and you will love it unconditionally.

And, with that, maybe you can come visit me in Mag next year! :)

Go deacs!

- Your Freshman dorm expert, Patrece