As you reach the end of your senior year in high school, it seems like everywhere you turn, someone is asking you where you plan on attending school the next year as if there is no other option than college. Most people proudly reply with the university of their choice, probably sporting their newest collegiate t-shirt as well. However, there is still a small, yet growing, population of students that have a different response. The type of response that seems to send everyone in shock because you decided to hold college back a bit, unlike anybody they have ever known.
Being one of those students is more difficult than it should be. When the decade-old question rolls around asking what college you have chosen and you reply "none," there is an immediate reaction portraying judgement and confusion exuding from the other person, giving you such a belittling feeling. A feeling that makes you think you have to try so hard to defend your decision in order to receive their approval. It's quite awful.
Many people think that once a student derails from the college track they will never get back on board. However, this is a common misconception and is rarely the case. Leaving space between high school and college to explore new things and have new experiences often leads to a clearer mindset of what to study in college. A breather from the classroom can actually result in more eagerness to thrive in college and beyond.
For me, this was not a decision I anticipated having to make; I expected everything to be very clear in terms of what my next steps in life should be. This wasn't the case at all.
After applying to colleges during senior year it began to sink in that this may be my last year dancing. Since I was young I have worked towards a career in ballet. Having faced many obstacles along the way, I began to wonder if that was still realistic or not. Nonetheless, I decided I would probably hate myself later on if I didn't at least try and would always wonder about the "what if's."
As winter break rolled around, I had been accepted into the college of my choice with a few scholarships. That's when I thought maybe it's a sign that it's time to hang up the pointe shoes after this year, especially seeing that nothing at ballet was making me think otherwise. But a few months and many rehearsals later, it was completely different. I had been given the opportunity to dance with the Boston Ballet.
Immediately I thought, "I have to go to Boston." Still, though, I kept thinking about how I would be missing out on all the college experiences I might not get if I did go to Boston. I knew neither option was a bad one, which almost made the decision more difficult. Then I realized I can board the college train anytime, but if I don't go the path for ballet, that train will leave the station and I will never be able to catch it again.
So sure, I may not be going through "the best four years of my life" the same way as my other college-aged peers, but if nothing else, at least I'll have some pretty interesting stories to tell when I finally do go through my college years. And lucky me, I get to have the best four years of my life for the second time.
