I recently had a conversation with a friend who was talking about someone she was interested in. She was so stressed out about him discovering that she had a crush on him. "If he knows that I like him, it'll make me vulnerable and give him the upper hand," she said. After a little more conversation, I think we discovered the root of the issue together.
In today's time, I believe that the source of a lot of our problems comes from the fact that we are so scared to be seen as unprepared or weak. Speaking from my own perspective, I never want anyone to know that I have feelings and that I hurt (which doesn't make sense considering that emotions are a part of everyone's nature).
The issue that my friend and I discussed was that she felt like the guy would have an upper hand because she was viewing vulnerability as a weakness. She viewed him as stronger because he would know her feelings, but she wouldn't know his for sure.
I would like to shatter this lie that many of us have believed all of our lives. Vulnerability is not weakness. In fact, I believe that being vulnerable is one of the strongest things that a person can do.
Hiding your feelings and locking them inside you? Not letting anyone know your genuine thoughts or hurts? That's easy. Opening up and allowing someone to really know you? That takes guts.
Hiding how you feel generally only protects your image while sharing your feelings shows that you don't care how you look to others; you value being true.
You can see it in things like music today versus music several years ago. My favorite love songs come from the 80s because back then, the most popular hits were full of passion and feeling. Now, the most popular hits just have a nice beat and make the artists look invincible.
I say, let's change the game. Let's make authenticity popular again.
Instead of being cool for seeming like you don't have feelings, let's train ourselves to value the people who respect us and themselves enough to share their honest selves with us.