Dear Potatoes,

Thank you. You are a wonderful vegetable. I believe you were the first vegetable God created, but He knew that we needed something to look forward to, so he added other foods. Heaven is probably just comprised of fries, mashed potatoes, and hash browns. You are so wonderful, that we grow you in all 50 states and over 125 countries around the world.

You're well networked as well. Every good politician knows that they can't complete a meal without you.

Look at President Obama, pairing his sandwich with fries like a champ.

See Thomas Jefferson eating his classy freedom fries.

These politicians know that you, the potato, are the best vegetable as they pose with your mascot.

These delicious veggies are also good for you in moderation. Packed with vitamin B6, which produces the chemicals serotonin and norepinephrine (responsible for maintaining mood balance and stress levels, respectively). This vitamin can also responsible for the breakdown of glycogen (stored in muscles), so it's a key factor for athletic performance. It's been known to protect your heart in moderation as well.

Feeling down?

Need a natural athletic boost?

Is you heart feeling funky?

It's clear that potatoes are the world's best vegetable. You can make them in so many different ways. You can fry them, bake them, or roast them. Slice them up and pour cheese on them. Mash 'em up in butter and garlic. But there's also their sibling, sweet potatoes. The possibilities continue with brown sugar and marshmallows and creamy casseroles.

The saddest time in history was probably the 19th century Irish potato famine. it's no wonder that the lack of this golden commodity caused Jonathan Swift to suggest they simply give up and eat their children. This wasn't an exaggeration -- they just needed their potatoes back.

So, thank you potatoes for being amazing vegetables. You're valiant, diligent, soft, but firm, and you never let us down. You're the kind of vegetable that's always there for us and sticks around for a long time.

This is why I'm proposing a new candidate for the 2016 election. When you get to the polls this November and you're one of those few people that aren't sure whom to vote for, vote Potatoe!

Potatoes know the value of our beautifully capitalistic economy.

Potatoes know the value of small businesses and understand poverty.

Potatoes know that you need more money for school, healthcare, unemployment, etc.

Potatoes understand you.

Vote Potatoes for the 2016 election and never be hungry for change again.

#Potatoes2016