The Sound of Music is cinematic genius. There, I said it.
Whirlwind romance, inspirational messages, fabulous musical numbers, a dash of political activism, and Julie Andrews--it's got it all. At the center of the story is the Von Trapp children, a talented troupe of singing prodigies. Obviously, we love each and every child equally. Butttt if, hypothetically, we were forced to rank the Von Trapp children by ~vibes~, here's the definitive list.
Disclaimer: this strictly a satirical ranking based off the fictional Von Trapp characters.
Let's get started. Worst vibes first!
1. Brigitta

Brigitta is hands down the worst vibes. Right off the bat, she insults Maria's (Julia Andrews') fit, when she knows good and well that the poor girl just came from the nunnery. How's that for kicking a girl while she's down? She's a first-class know-it-all who thinks it's chill to waddle in during role call while reading a book. Most importantly, she rats out her sister Louisa's mastermind plan to switch names, thus breaking the number one rule of the sibling code. Snitches get stitches, Brigitta.
2. Louisa

Louisa is an attention fiend, and for that reason sends out needy vibes. She does her best to get noticed--playing tricks on Maria and making snarky remarks--but her negative energy doesn't get her anywhere. We'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume all that trickery is an act of love. Other than her proclivity for mischief, she adds little value to the sibling dynamic and, let's be honest, to the movie as a whole.
3. Gretl

Gretl is a ray of sunshine. She's sassy, has a killer voice, and rocks the Princess Leia buns like no other. Her smile would make you happily give up your last lime flavored White Claw. How'd this cutie get put so far down on the list? Well, as you'll recall, Gretl takes a page out of The Diva Book and takes a leave from her singing career due to an injury on her... pointer finger? Pathetic. AND, Butterfingers almost starts bawling when she drops a tomato at the open-air market. Weak. Petty excuses and crying? Way to bring the vibes down, Gretl.
4. Friedrich

Freidrich simply maintains ~vibe homeostasis~. He neither contributes to the good vibes, nor does anything to bring them down. Maybe I'm just not picking up on his energy, but my vibe radar is pretty accurate and I'm getting a weak signal. Irrelevance gets you no where, which is why Freidrich is smack in the middle.
5. Marta

Marta radiates bad b*tch vibes. The girl wants a pink parasol and a pony for her birthday. Need I say anymore? Seven years old and already dreaming big. THIS is a girl that's mastered the art of manifestation. She can even pull off the blunt bangs look, which speaks volumes about the quality of her forehead. Unparalleled positive vibes and a love for all things pink, we know she's the Elle Woods of the 1940s. Spending Daddy's money well, Marta!
6. Leisl

Leisl answers to nobody and for that deserves mad respect. That savage dips on dinner and sneaks out of the house to make an illicit booty call to her lover, Rolph. When he leaves her on 1940s read, she gets a little petty, which knocks her off the top spot. But after a prompt vibe-check from Maria, shawty dries her tears and comes out the other side stronger than ever. You go girl! We love a good boy-meets-girl, girl-is-better-off-without-boy story. Then, to top it all off, she publicly asks her dad to be her alc plug at his big party. The Vibe Gods reward the bold.
7. Kurt

Without a doubt, Kurt radiates the best vibes. Confident and flirtatious, he hits a glass-shatteringly high note during his debut song at his father's party and shamelessly brown-noses all the adults in his life. He defies gender norms by wearing a dashing blue-striped nightgown, making him a fashion icon and putting him ahead of his time. Overcoming the 'middle-child' death sentence of living forever his siblings' shadows, he steals the spotlight from the rest of them and does not disappoint. Not to mention the legend shoots his shot with Maria and scores a saucy, traditional Austrian dance with her. Well played Kurt, you win.
Special thanks to Claire for the inspo!


















