A Very Harambe Christmas
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A Very Harambe Christmas

More than a gorilla.

14
A Very Harambe Christmas
Mike Arney

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was surfing, 'cause the WiFi was out
The router was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that signal soon would be there.

The young thugs were passed out all sprawled on their beds,
While visions of iPhone screens twerked in their heads.
And bae in her sweatpants, and I in my beanie,
Had just finished talkin 'bout DTrump the meanie

When out on the lawn there arose such a noise,
I jumped out of bed thinking it was dem boyz.
Away to the window I ran really fast,
Tore open the curtains and let out a gasp.

The moonlight reflecting on the snowfall was LIT
And like a Kanye concert, it was pretty legit
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A gorilla. It's him! Harambe is here.

This couldn't be happening, he died on that Saturday
My eyes can't be lying; it must be Harambe.
He'd been in my heart much more than a meme,
But there in my yard? Could it all be a dream?

"Harambe! Harambe! Harambe! Harambe!
Harambe! Harambe! Harambe! Harambe!
A gorilla so brave, so proud, and so true
You didn't deserve it—what they did to you."

He was covered all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his fur was all tarnished with ashes and soot.
He tossed me his mixtape with a fire new track,
And looked like an angel with wings on his back.

That's when I heard it, a shout from bae,
"Netflix is back! Let's catch up on Greys."
I needed a pic for my Instagram story,
I grabbed my phone to capture his glory.

But before I could reach it, he vanished real fast
Harambe was gone; a meme of the past.
But I heard him yell, as he flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

By Dani Krambeer and Curtis Ritter

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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