As an avid Sex and the City fan, and as a Carrie-like columnist in my dreams, I too have wondered a lot of the things that she has wondered. Further, as I recently watched the movie and cried once again with Miranda as she discovered that sweet nerdy Steve was sticking it where it definitely didn't belong, I began to think about infidelity. How would I react in a cheating situation? Is there a “standard” or appropriate way for one to act? Or is it circumstantial? 

If you are lucky/unlucky enough to be in a relationship in college, the fear of cheating is all too real. If your boyfriend is in a frat, this fear is heightened due to the fact that your man is going to be in situations where alcohol and hot girls are present, but you will not be. And it would be unfair of you to ask him to remove himself from those situations because you want to be “cool girl” (shout out to Amazing Amy) and trusting. But do you trust that drunk chick in the bra and ski pants for the “ski trip” themed mixer?   

So say he slips up. He was blackout and regretfully admitted to DFMO’ing with the ski bunny. What do you say/feel if he comes clean? He’s been honest, he apologizes, but what does this mean? Is this an indication of a bigger problem in your relationship or was it merely a singular drunk incident? You wonder if it happened because of something you did or said, and all of your insecurities are brought to the surface.  

Do you trust him again and put it behind you? Or is the saying true, that once a cheater, always a cheater? We all would like to think that we are better than that, and we deserve someone who is faithful, but when faced with the situation, I honestly don’t know whether I would send him packing, or be able to forgive.  

I think of my parents, madly in love, and wonder if one would be able to forgive the other in the event of cheating. I wonder if I would be able to forgive one of them for the pain they caused the other, and the pain they caused our family due to a stupid decision. But I’ve talked to my friend, one of whom’s parents she is certain was unfaithful, and she says that at the end of the day, regardless of how upset she is by the situation, he is still her dad, and she still needs him in her life.     

Ultimately, for those of us who have been cheated on, we know how sh*tty, demeaning, and unsettling it feels. And for those of us who have cheated, we know how that pit in your stomach and feeling of self loathing sticks with you like the smell of Revive. We are quick to judge those who stay with “cheaters” as lacking self-respect. But after observing a variety of different cheating situations, I think that a “never ever” policy might be oversimplified.

So before you judge Hilary Clinton as weak, its important to remember that although we feel personally offended by Bill's slimy philandering, we were not in the room with Hil and Bill after the fact, and we simply aren’t in a position to judge their relationship.