Why do you believe in what you do? Why do you identify with your religion? When did you make the choice to follow those paths in your life?
From the moment we are born, our parents and/or guardians instill certain values and beliefs into us. We don’t necessarily agree with them, but we go along with it, because it is much simpler that way. You do what your parents say. You don’t ask why. In the words of Shia Labeouf, you "just do it," at least, until you reach an age when your values and beliefs depend upon you.
Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2015 was values day here at Stetson University. It is a tradition at my university which emphasizes the university's core values while offering educational workshops and activities throughout the day.
Coming to college, I realized that a lot of the values I had while growing up changed dramatically. I think many of you could say the same. The value that changed first for me was religion. I grew up in a Catholic household. Every Sunday, from the time I was born until my freshman year in college, I went to church with my family. It was something that I never questioned, and I did it because it was a routine. I went through all of the sacraments: baptism, first communion, and confirmation. I became a godmother for many children in my family as well. It was all “the right thing to do.”
I’m not saying that I don’t believe in Catholicism anymore. I’m saying that I never had a reason or a chance to question it. Naturally, on my first Sunday in college, I didn’t go to church for many reasons; I didn’t know where it was, I was tired from packing, and I had so many orientation activities to attend that even my Sunday was pretty full. My schedule was hectic, to say the least, and that became the excuse that I would tell myself when Sundays started flying by and I never went to church.
A part of me felt guilty; I felt like I was putting my religion on the back burner. But then I realized that my views on religion, which I was raised with, were still the same. Just because I didn’t physically go to church didn’t mean that I didn’t still believe in the same things I did when I went to church. I felt like I could still be Catholic and have Catholic values without going to a church every Sunday. A lot of people probably won’t understand that, and that’s okay. I’m not saying that I am ashamed of my choice of religion. As long as I know what I believe, then no one can influence me otherwise.
A value that intensified for me personally when I came to Stetson was in relation to my family. When you're in those prepubescent and angst-filled teenage years, you believe that everyone is trying to ruin your life. But when you come to college, you realize that no one was trying to ruin your life and you were extremely dramatic. Then you think back to all the problems you have caused your parents and other family members, and you start to wonder why they put up with you for so long. Then you realize it’s because they love you, and that’s why they’ve been so hard on you; they only want to see you succeed (though it may seem like they don’t let you do anything you think is fun or scold you when you do something wrong.)
But you will not see it that way any more. Soon, you will realize that it's all just tough love. I know I was a royal pain to my parents and siblings, but I feel like going away to college helped me to become closer to them than I originally was. They are there for you throughout adolescence, when you were still trying to find yourself and figure out what was important to you. When you go off to college alone, you realize how much they really helped you in the beginning stages of your life, and you also realize that they will no longer be a hallway away, where you can seek their guidance and depend upon them to tell you what’s right or wrong. In college, you realize how much you need your family and their guidance, and you appreciate and value them even more.
Some people may not have the same values as I do, and some people may devalue certain aspects of their beliefs and life when they come to college. But at the end of the day, we are all still establishing ourselves on our own, and that is something that will take some time.
