When I was watching the popular movie Wonder Woman, a discussion in the film was held which defined marriage as, "When two people stand in front of a judge and promise to love each other until death." The conversation between the two characters proceeded to mention that marriage usually doesn't last.
I immediately cringed at how the film defined marriage. If you've read my previous article, "Marriage Is Not A Piece Of Paper" you would already know that the state has absolutely no say in what is or is not marriage. Standing before a "judge" does not wed a couple. Without God, marriage is nothing.
Now that we've made that clear, let's go to the second problem with the theatrical conversation -- the part which states that marriage usually doesn't last. We have to step back and think, is it really that shocking? Why would marriage be expected to last when all it is is standing in front of a judge to make a promise and then sign a shabby piece of paper? Just how much does that judge really mean to your marriage? Odds are, you'll have forgotten the judge's name just one year later, so what is the point in the court being the defining factor of your marriage?
I know that many people will make the point that it's not about the court but only about the two people involved in the marriage. Here's the thing. People are not perfect. Marriages fail because people are selfish beings, and without God to mediate the marriage, people don't treat each other right. People don't know how to love each other through the hardships. That's why so many marriages end in divorce. Statistics show that. People always fail. People always mess up. When things get tough, people give up. God doesn't.
"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 2:5 ESV)
I will never marry someone who loves me more than he loves Jesus because, unlike God, I don't always keep my promises. I have bad days. I make mistakes. I am only human. I need grace. I'm hard to love -- we all are without God. God is the real "judge" involved in the wedding. When you make the promise before God and not the state, chances are, you're going to value that. When Jesus is put first, you learn how to love through the rough patches. Jesus is the umbrella of marriage. When both spouses have a committed relationship with Jesus, the marriage won't rot with sin and the selfish desires of man, but it will illuminate with the love and the selflessness of the Lord.
When a person has a committed relationship with the Lord, he or she will be obedient to Him. Therefore, many factors of divorce like adultery, abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, and unloving behaviors will be canceled out of the equation. Someone who serves the Lord won't do these things.
I will also not marry a man who values me more than he values the Lord because I care about him, which means I want him to chase Jesus and answer to Jesus, because the Lord has better things for him than I can offer. I wouldn't want my husband's adoration for me to harm his relationship with the Lord, therefore I would need him to have his priorities straight to begin with. If his priorities put God second and me first, that becomes idolatry.
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV)
Any time a human takes the place of Christ in your heart, you are setting yourself and the other person up for failure, because then it becomes about their desires and your desires over God's desires. That can be messy because human desires are tainted and can become selfish or unclean rather quickly.
"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37 NIV)
Conclusively, marrying someone whose priorities do not place God in the first ranking is damage waiting to happen. If he loves Jesus more than anything, I will know his heart is in the right place. I will know that he won't drag me down in my faith, but instead, encourage me to walk the path God laid out for me and vice versa. That's how marriage works -- in the covenant of the Lord.
