About a week ago, as Valentine's Day was right around the corner of the next week, I found myself once again having no one to spend it with.
Not unusual having it be about the same each year, just celebrating "Galentine's" with the girls.
Still curious though and feeling the slightest bit lonely, wondering as to how I was spending it alone once again, I dared to ask one of my close guy friends as to why I was deemed "intimidating" by guys. Knowing me, that was one of the last words I would ever use to describe myself, and in fact, most of my girl friends would actually describe me as the opposite. He promptly responded that I was "intimidating" because I was confident and comfortable in my own skin. I knew what I wanted, and to guys with confidence and self-esteem issues, that was scary. For most guys in college my age, that makes up a large majority.
This took me by surprise as I quickly responded that in fact, I was not confident, and honestly just laugh at myself a lot of the time.
"But", he said, "you put on the vibe of being confident, and people believe you". The truth is though, no one can be confident all the time. In fact a lot of the time, I fake it till I make it.
Which is what makes Valentine's a conflicting time of feeling lonely, but also truly loving myself for who I am and enjoying being able to eat chocolate, watch movies and celebrate my friends. Who says your friends can't be your valentines? If love is the only standard to make someone your valentine, well I love my friends and to me, that counts.
Now don't take this article the wrong way, this isn't a sad narrative about not having a boyfriend and being alone on Valentine's Day.
Merely a reflection of the things I've discovered about myself and the things and people I love in the weeks leading up to it. As much as I would love to have someone to spend it with, I know that day will come one day and for that reason, I am not actively rushing towards it.
Whether you're truly confident in yourself or not, or just faking it till you make it, I invite you to laugh and reflect with me.
You may be faking it now, but that confidence will stick over time. You are incredible who you are, and no significant other will change that. Because the truth is that all that matters on Valentine's Day is that you've learned to love yourself. So go eat the ice cream, do whatever the dang heck you want, because this day is about you.
Celebrate it with those you love, and treat yourself (cliche sounding, yet true). Here is a mapping of feelings that you, like me, may experience on your journey.
Eating and Watching Netflix AloneGiphy
Feeling lonely, watching some feel good romance movie on Netflix and wondering "when will that be me?" Well let me tell you this, didn't Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde find her confidence and beat the hell out of law school in the end? Heck yeah she did. She might have started off sad over some boy, but in the end she found her own self worth. That's you too girlfriend.
Honestly we all have Amy Poehler aka Leslie Knope to thank for this one. We all have a little love hate relationship with galentines, no matter how much we want to admit it. Because celebrating galentines means you don't have a boyfriend, but it also means spending time with your best friends. Best friends will be there always, boyfriends can come and go so in the end aren't the galentines more important? Therefore it should be a national holiday because the love of a true good friend is forever. Leslie Knope is all of us on the inside.
All I have to say is who cares how many sweets you eat? TREAT YOURSELF. Make Valentines a whole week long of treating yourself.
Indulging in Self-CareGiphy
Look good, feel good. Dress to the nines, do a face mask, paint those nails, take a bubble bath. Be luxurious. Self-care is one of the most important aspects to a healthy, confident mindset.
Setting Yourself Free From Toxic Relationships
One thing many people fail to mention in the self-care category is that the people you spend time with also matter. Loving yourself means spending time with people you love, and setting yourself free from those who stand in your way. Whether this means finally not talking to someone who played you months ago or merely just focusing on more substantial relationships, do what is best for you.
In the end, love yourself because you are what determines your happiness.