In the wake of a surge towards feminism and equality of the sexes, many historically held views of women are being shattered. Whether it's equality in the workplace or at home, many women are finally saying "no more" to decades old unfair standards, notions, and expectations that have been held for decades. The general principle the movement stands on -- equality for both females and males -- the word, itself, deters many followers simply because of the connotations associated with it.
My white picket fence is a thirty story office building and a pair of red-soled Louboutins. It does not involve a golden retriever patiently waiting at home in the yard for my husband to come home, or kids playing in the backyard on the swing-set hand built for them by a loved one. My hopes and dreams of a far off future are not centered around things I cannot control, such as finding someone to spend the rest of my life with, or kids to fulfill my need of being the "perfect daughter, wife, and mother." Rather, my dream consists of one thing: me. And more specifically, it consists of a content, sophisticated, successful and, most importantly, happy me.
Living in the 21st century brings a lot of luxuries, but it also brings an added duty of pushing boundaries. We cannot sit and be naive to the injustice that surrounds us. We cannot be content with living with sexist values infringing upon our daily lives. We cannot, and we should not, stand for this any longer. Yet, we do. And I am reminded of this fact every time I speak of my own hopes and dreams, and am replied to with a "But what about having a family? That's the most important thing in life."
To some extent, I agree with these ideas. I agree with the notion that it is important to teach others to live, love, and grow, and help them on their journey. We live out our lives through others, but that does not necessarily mean through having children. As women, our roles in society are being care-takers. We are expected to get married and have babies and live in the suburbs and drive carpools. We are expected to give up our own livelihoods to take care of our children, because that is what has always been done. If we don't buy into this, then we're viewed as "selfish." To which I say, no more.
Women should not be defined by whether they raise a family or not. A person's worth should not be decided based on if they checked off all of the right boxes. Rather, their own personal success should be valued. Making ourselves happy should be our number one priority. If raising a family is your goal in life, and is what makes you happy, then I say power to you. We need people like you in the world. People, and women specifically, should feel like they want to have children and a family because that is what will make them the most happy. Society needs to stop forcing women into thinking that they need to have a family in order to be complete.
I want to live in a world where that is a choice women can make freely and shamelessly, because it is their own life. I want women to come to that conclusion on their own, not because they feel like they're forced into it by societal standards. But most importantly, I want to live in a world where if women don't make that decision to have a family, but rather to live for themselves and realize that it's okay to be selfish sometimes, that's viewed as acceptable, too.
I can't wait to live in a world were different choices are beautiful, because different people and views are what make the human race so unique and quirky. I want to live in a world where making a choice to put myself first makes me just as much of a woman as the mother with three kids and a white picket fence living next door. The white picket fence is not necessarily my dream, and that should not make me any less of a woman, let alone a human.
