Most of us, if not all of us young adults struggle with the idea of what we plan on doing with the rest of our lives once we graduate college. Now there are some, by the grace of God, who come out of the womb already knowing where they will go, what they will do and where they will end up. Unfortunately for me, that was not the case.
All while growing up, I only cared about three things. Singing, playing softball and reading a book. For a while, I wanted to be a professional singer, like my idol Shania Twain (obviously that did not happen) and then there was the pro athlete dream. That was short lived after my freshman year of high school when I didn't make the varsity team. And lastly, there was the idea of writing or journalism, but sadly I talked myself out of that one because I lacked the confidence in myself and was more concerned with how much money I would make as opposed to my happiness.
Money was always the main important factor when it came time for me to decide what to major in when I started my first year of college only because my anxiety would stress over not being able to be independent and to be able to afford a living for myself and one day my future family. So, I decided to major in biology/pre-med, because doctors make a lot right? Besides, how hard could it be since I took AP biology in high school? Well, I quickly figured out that I am probably the worst at all things science and thought long and hard about changing my major. I eventually came to the decision to change it to Music Education with a choral emphasis since music was always my passion and I knew it would make me happy in the end.
Now, for a while, I enjoyed my music classes. I loved doing what I do the most and that was singing, learning how to play the piano, learning how to conduct and how to properly use my voice. I finally felt like I had a general idea of where I was going in life. I was content but still had a slight emptiness inside that I tried to ignore. But all good things come to an end and I wound up having a rocky semester last spring. I found myself realizing that I did not enjoy teaching and that I would much rather do anything but that because if you don't have a love for it then it's just not meant for you.
Fast forward to today, I am still a music major but now going for a BA instead of BM but still no idea what I plan to do in life since technically it is way too late for me to change my major again without putting me back more years into my undergrad. I feel lost, I am 21 years old, going on my 4th year of college, graduate in a year and still, I am about as undecided as a freshman. But I am not letting that get to me. I know that there is some sort of plan out there for me. However, I am putting myself out there into this world finding new outlets, like blogging, to find things I am good at so that it might lead to a potential career path for me. Maybe with a little faith, trust and perhaps even a tad of pixie dust, I will find what I was destined to do.
However, if you find yourself reading this and you too are just as lost as I am; don't worry too much. Focus on you, find things that make you happy not things that you think eventually will make you happy. So what if you change your major once, or twice, or even more? You're learning and figuring out who YOU are. Not what others want you to be. I've learned a lot over the year, and that is to be happy and to be positive no matter what comes your way.