I have not written in over a year.
I can't believe it has been that long, but I think it is because I have simply listened and learned over the past year because that is what I have felt God leading me to do.
I had a car wreck last October. I have not yet shared what happened with many people that night mainly because it is so embarrassing, but I have had more than enough time to process it. During that time, I was in such a bad spot in life. I let thoughts from the enemy all but consume my life. I had everyone fooled into thinking I lived an awesome life and was so happy all the time, but on the inside I was basically dead. I had been emotionally, physically, and mentally drained. I had wondered many times if anyone would notice if I weren't around anymore and who would come to my funeral if anything happened to me. I was living a dark
life. That night, I had taken some friends home and decided to "bust a loop" as we call it in the delta, as I had done many nights before. My roommates younger brother asked if he could come with me, but I insisted it was too late for him to be out and he should probably stay at home (I obviously should have taken my own advice). So I set out to nowhere at 2am, listening to sad songs and just thinking about how pitiful my life was. The name of the last song I listened to that night was called "Unsteady". Some of the lyrics were "Hold on, hold on to me, Cause I'm a little unsteady.."
My life was so unsteady. I wanted to please everyone and fell into the patterns of the world, just to feel accepted by earthly people.
Within a few seconds, when looking for the next song to play on my phone, I ran out of road. I was driving way too fast, and looked ahead as I found myself driving straight into a patch of woods. Everything was like slow motion as my car flipped 3 times and landed upside down in between two trees. I was hanging upside down in my car after the car stopped flipping.
I looked up at my hair dangling upside down and all I could think was "Thank you God." I was not scared at all, I was thankful. I literally felt the power of God's arms wrapped around me. I was unsteady, and God had kept me steady through the whole thing.
I felt God with me at the moment, which is something I had not felt in a long time. I wasn't injured that night, but instead I was healed- and have not been the same since.
I say all that to say that I believe sometimes God gives us reminders that He is with us always, even through the parts of life when we don't feel steady. The world is an unsteady place, but we can always turn to Him for stability. The world is always changing, but He never changes.
Whatever happens in this life, remember that it is not "the end of the world" because this world is not the end of anything, but the beginning of something far greater than we can fathom.
(P.S. Shout out to my roommate, bestie, and parents for being there as fast as lightening to come rescue me that night, thankful and indebted to you people :)