Over ten years since the finale, "Friends" is still considered one of the most popular television shows to date. With frequent reruns airing on networks such as TBS and Nickelodeon (as part of their “Nick at Nite” line-up), combined with the release of all ten of the show’s seasons streaming on Netflix, it’s easy for anyone to sit down and laugh while enjoying a few episodes. Whether you’ve been a fan of the show since the '90s or you’re just now discovering the beloved sitcom, it’s easy to see why it’s been ranked as one of television’s best shows time and time again.
Despite my love for the show, there’s one major thing I just can’t stand. It’s not continuity errors, plot holes, or the occasional joke that unfortunately fell flat. It’s the show’s most loved couple: Ross and Rachel.
Ross was “in love” with Rachel for years, and when she randomly shows up back in his life (as seen in the pilot episode), it seems like it’s finally meant to be. Rachel is in New York! She’s living with Monica, Ross’s sister! Finally, he can have the love he has fantasized about for so long! Viewers are able to watch the two go from awkward childhood acquaintances to good friends.
Although Rachel eventually develops feelings for Ross, it appears to be too late. He has moved on and is currently dating someone else. They just can’t figure out the timing … until they do. Finally (after hurting Rachel’s feelings by making a pro/con list about her), Rachel sees an old home video of her prom night, where Ross secretly got ready to take her when it appeared her actual date had bailed. Rachel is so moved by this action, she forgets all about her anger over the list and the two share a passionate embrace.
As friend Phoebe said, “He’s her lobster!”
(Because lobsters supposedly mate for life, and Phoebe believed the two were meant to be together.)
Yay, love! Yay, Ross and Rachel! Things are happy and sweet, and I will admit I see the charm and appeal of the couple in these moments; the anticipation that comes with waiting for the two to get together, the reward of the emotional moment when it finally happens, the cuteness of their honeymoon phase … It’s all really great and fun and makes for intriguing television. But unfortunately, it doesn’t last long.
Ross and Rachel’s relationship becomes tumultuous and difficult. As she finally sees career success and experiences the joy that comes with excelling in her field, Ross is hit with a terrible case of jealousy for the time this job takes up, as well as a man Rachel works with. Though Rachel never gave him a reason to worry, Ross feels he can’t trust her with her male colleague. Tensions build, eventually leading to a huge fight. Afterwards, Rachel tells Ross she believes they should take a break … Which he responds to by immediately leaving and hooking up with a girl he met earlier. Though he struggled to trust Rachel, it appears she was the one who actually had reason to worry. This scandalous moment becomes a running gag throughout the remainder of the series (“WE WERE ON A BREAK!” Ross argues anytime he is accused of cheating).
The two end things here temporarily, but throughout the series they continue to flirt, then fight, date other people, yet get jealous when the other is in a relationship, talk about getting together, and eventually have a baby together after a random one-night-only hookup. This again makes them discuss getting back together, spark new arguments and jealousies, and continue with the back and forth pattern that is well established by this point. That doesn’t even include Ross’s marriage to another woman, or his drunken Vegas wedding with Rachel (which caused more arguments, as he lied and told her they got an annulment like they agreed, but truthfully were still married). As the series comes to a close, we see Rachel make the last minute decision not to follow her career-dream and move to Paris, but to stay in New York City and be with Ross.
This moment has caused many fans to shed emotion-filled tears, as it seemed so heartfelt and genuine to give something so big up for the one you love. The “I got off the plane” scene is one of the most famous scenes from the shows 200+ episodes. As sweet a gesture as it may seem, I think it (and the majority of the relationship) is ridiculous.
Why do we glorify this relationship? Why is the Ross and Rachel relationship the one so many dream of having, the one that is regarded as the show’s best? Why is Ross’s early infatuation with (not love—very much infatuation) Rachel, one that comes across many times as almost desperate, so sweet? Why is the constant back-and-forth and endless jealousy so endearing? I don’t get it, and I probably never will. I don’t see Ross and Rachel as a couple who shared a solid relationship and found true love with one another. That’s not to say they didn’t love one another, they did. But there’s a big difference between loving someone and truly being in love with someone.
The constant jealousy and games played between the two makes the relationship seem, to me, very unhealthy and even manipulative at times. The entire plot driving the relationship is centered on mistakes and arguments. Personally, I don’t think that’s what brings happiness to a relationship.
Despite all this, the real kicker for me is when Rachel got off the plane. I know it would be difficult to walk away from your best friends, your home, and to separate your child from her father. But this was Rachel’s dream - this job was the opportunity she had always been waiting for, hoping for, and working really hard for. This was her moment to shine. And she gave it up not to continue living with her best friends and going to Central Perk every day (as everyone else was getting to a point where they were settling down and going their separate ways), but for a man with whom she had shared this rocky, unhealthy relationship.
I just can’t glorify this situation and call it the best relationship on the show. I’ll never wish for my love life to resemble that of these two characters. I’ll never understand why over a decade later, people are still caught up on the “magic” that is Ross and Rachel. Is the drama really desirable? It’s not desirable to me, on television or in my personal life.
So, it might be an unpopular opinion, but it’s one I firmly stand behind. I don’t like Ross and Rachel. Give me Monica and Chandler’s relationship any day, but keep Ross and Rachel far away from me.
