Are you a glass half-full or glass half-empty type of person? Can you easily find the positive in a challenging situation? Do you have hope?

If I’m honest, I’m a glass half-empty type of person. But, if you were to ask me if I was a pessimist I would say no. I’m more of a realist. The trials of life have taught me that reality rarely matches up with my expectations. I’ve found that the more hopeful I am for a situation to happen, then the more I’m hurt when it doesn’t come to play.

When our expectations don’t align with our reality we become frustrated and disappointed. I’ve seen this happen almost daily on campus. Girls are upset because what they thought someone should, or should not do, didn’t actually happen. The challenge is that, although the expectations may have been reasonable, one friend did not share their hopes and expectations with the other. If communication is not the most important, then you can have a million expectations for people and events around you and never feel content because no one understands your heart and your expectations.

If you express in your relationships what you are expecting and ground those expectations in Christ, then your relationships will be transformed. Relationships exist to change us. However, this change can be for better or for worse. God uses people, and He often uses to people to teach us something about Him or his character.

In college, I’ve learned that relationships require a lot of work. I’m a serial give-up-on-your-friend-when-things-get-too-hard kind of girl. I don’t mean that I drop my friends when they’re going through hard times or grief, but if we fight then I’m done. I don’t put in any more effort than I have to. This unhealthy forfeiture of friends has only taught me that I have to put in more effort than the average person into my relationships. It has also taught me that if I give up this easily on my friends who I can see and touch and hear, then I’m that much more likely to give up on God.

Examine your relationships. Notice how your expectations don’t always match up with reality, and then consider what your expectations are grounded in and whether you hold yourself to the same standard. Relationships and expectations can tell you a lot about your relationship with God.

The more you begin to understand how to have healthy relationships with your peers and friends, then the more you may begin to understand how to maintain a healthy relationship with Christ. Do you give up on relationships easily? Do consistently search for faults in your friends? Do you avoid extended contact with your friends? Are you closed-off and distant from your friends?

Learn from your relationships; learn from yourself. Seek to base all of your expectations in Christ, and then the hope you have is founded in the Father and the pain you experience brings glory to His name. Unmet expectations can suddenly become a sign that you’re heart is aligned with Christ’s because the desires of God’s heart are rarely the world’s desire. Unmet expectations may become exceeded expectations. Choosing action, love, kindness and humility exceeds the expectations of friends, family and the world. Hope sets you apart in this world.