A Satirical Take On The Unicorn Frappucino

A Satirical Take On The Unicorn Frappucino

Oh God, not another article about the Unicorn Frappucino!
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By now, you're probably tired of the hundreds of articles written about the short-lived Unicorn Frappucino from Starbucks - especially the taste-test opinion-pieces, so instead of reading a drawn out explanation of the "three Snickers bars' worth" of sugar a literal sugary treat drink has, here are some pros and cons of the now extinct blue-pink drink.

Pro: You get to share stylish, insta-worthy pics of your frap.

Pink, blue, purple, whipped cream, and "magic sugar dust" on top? #Aesthetic, am I right?

Con: You and literally thousands of other people have the same "hot shot" pic on your timeline.

No, no - I'm sure your angled shot of the Unicorn frap looks way better than your friend's. Definitely.

Pro: You'll get a jolt of sugar-fueled energy with just a few sips.

A few seconds after the cool rush of a mild brain freeze wears off, you'll start to feel that wonderful sugar high. Love them sugar highs!

Con: That sugar crash is a cold-hearted b.

"What do you mean you didn't want a pounding headache? I totally thought you did." - your frap

Pro: You have some in-the-know knowledge about a hot-topic conversation item.

"Oh the Unicorn frap? Yeah I've heard of it!" *gets ready to gush about your love of it* "Oh you hated it? Yeah...so did I...totally!" Whoops.

Con: Nobody wants to hear about the Unicorn frap anymore.

Oh, you had the Unicorn frap? So did l i t e r a l l y everyone else.

Pro: You get to indulge in something that's only around for a limited time.

Four years from now when Facebook reminds you of a post On This Day, you'll get to look back fondly on your time with the Unicorn Frappucino and think: "wow, in the past four years, I've really never done anything as incredible as drink that magical drink!"

Con: If you really did enjoy the drink, you won't be able to get it again because it was a limited time offer.

You will have nightmares every time you go to Starbucks, watching your world crash before you as the "Unicorn Frappucino" sign on the menu with a big X over it saying "sorry, no more left" comes down. And then, you'll think of better days, like April 19th, 2017, when the Unicorn frap existed and all was right in the world.

Cover Image Credit: Starbucks Melody

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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What I Wish I Knew About Life After High School Before I Had To Live It

Life after high school isn't always what you expected it to be.

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So you're about to graduate high school and you think you have it all figured out. You and your best friends are going to stay close throughout college and you're going to take those long road trips in college to see each other. Think again.

Life after high school isn't always what you want it to be. You think you'll miss high school, you'll always be close with your high school besties, and you'll have all this free time in college. That's just not entirely true. I personally do not miss high school. I don't really talk to anyone I went to high school with on a regular basis, and I'm totally OK with that. I have friends in college that I believe will be my lifelong friends whereas my friends in high school didn't make an effort to keep in contact with me after high school.

I haven't had all the free time I've dreamed of in college, because I'm busy with school and meetings. When I'm not doing homework, I'm making sure the rest of my life is in order and all my stuff for school is in line. I'm not the crazy party girl that people think I am because of where I go to school. I'd rather sit in bed and watch Netflix than go out with my friends. I'm not a 4.0 student, but I work so hard in my classes just to make sure that I'm passing. I study a week before tests and still don't always make A's. And that's OK. It's not what I expected during my college years, but it's what's happening, and most of my friends are the same way.

Anne Marie Bonadio

Just know that life in college isn't all easy, breezy, and beautiful like Covergirl. It's hard and you will struggle whether it be in school or with your friends. College isn't always complete freedom. You'll be tied down with school and life and you won't have the free time that you always imagined. You won't always be best friends with your high school friends. You won't be taking those road trips because you won't be able to afford them, and if you're like me, your parents won't let you.

College won't be exactly what you dreamed it'll be, but it'll be some of the best years of your life.

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