A Satirical Take On The Unicorn Frappucino
Start writing a post
Student Life

A Satirical Take On The Unicorn Frappucino

Oh God, not another article about the Unicorn Frappucino!

A Satirical Take On The Unicorn Frappucino
Starbucks Melody

By now, you're probably tired of the hundreds of articles written about the short-lived Unicorn Frappucino from Starbucks - especially the taste-test opinion-pieces, so instead of reading a drawn out explanation of the "three Snickers bars' worth" of sugar a literal sugary treat drink has, here are some pros and cons of the now extinct blue-pink drink.

Pro: You get to share stylish, insta-worthy pics of your frap.

Pink, blue, purple, whipped cream, and "magic sugar dust" on top? #Aesthetic, am I right?

Con: You and literally thousands of other people have the same "hot shot" pic on your timeline.

No, no - I'm sure your angled shot of the Unicorn frap looks way better than your friend's. Definitely.

Pro: You'll get a jolt of sugar-fueled energy with just a few sips.

A few seconds after the cool rush of a mild brain freeze wears off, you'll start to feel that wonderful sugar high. Love them sugar highs!

Con: That sugar crash is a cold-hearted b.

"What do you mean you didn't want a pounding headache? I totally thought you did." - your frap

Pro: You have some in-the-know knowledge about a hot-topic conversation item.

"Oh the Unicorn frap? Yeah I've heard of it!" *gets ready to gush about your love of it* "Oh you hated it? Yeah...so did I...totally!" Whoops.

Con: Nobody wants to hear about the Unicorn frap anymore.

Oh, you had the Unicorn frap? So did l i t e r a l l y everyone else.

Pro: You get to indulge in something that's only around for a limited time.

Four years from now when Facebook reminds you of a post On This Day, you'll get to look back fondly on your time with the Unicorn Frappucino and think: "wow, in the past four years, I've really never done anything as incredible as drink that magical drink!"

Con: If you really did enjoy the drink, you won't be able to get it again because it was a limited time offer.

You will have nightmares every time you go to Starbucks, watching your world crash before you as the "Unicorn Frappucino" sign on the menu with a big X over it saying "sorry, no more left" comes down. And then, you'll think of better days, like April 19th, 2017, when the Unicorn frap existed and all was right in the world.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

I Didn't Know That I Would Lose My Best Friend To Her Boyfriend

I didn't know that you would stop doing the things that make you happy. The things everyone used to judge you for. You are the type of person who does things on YOUR terms and now they're on his.

I Didn't Know That I Would Lose My Best Friend To Her Boyfriend

As your best friend, all I ever want is for you to be happy. Because as best friends, we know exactly what makes the other happy. I know all your weird and quirky lingo. I know how much you hate certain foods and most of all, I know the things that are important to you in life.

Keep Reading... Show less

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

You know YOU are not determined by your romantic status

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

Although the most romantic and love-filled holiday is right around the corner, it's important to know that Feb.14, the middle day of the shortest month of the year, doesn't need to be determined by your current romantic status. With that being said, you can either choose to sulk over the fact that you're single or you can make the best out of Valentine's Day without even having one.

Here are a few ideas to celebrate the day:

Keep Reading... Show less

7 Fun Facts About The Eiffel Tower

The iconic landmark is reinventing itself with a splashy new color.

Eiffel Tower

Soon, the 2024 Summer Olympics are coming to Paris, and the Eiffel Tower will be in the spotlight.

Embedded so much into Paris's identity, the iconic landmark is no stranger to historic events and world-class gatherings over the years. It is sure to shine again.

Keep Reading... Show less

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

You don't just start as the person you are meant to be; there is a journey full of ups and downs that mold a person, so this is my journey.

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

Overall I'd love to say I grew up a happy overly enthusiastic child that was taught to love herself and be loved by everyone else, but I can't say that and I never will. My smile wasn't always as bright as it is today, but this is the story behind my smile, the story about how I got here to the happiest place I'll ever be. I'll begin at freshman year of high school.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

Just remember sometimes it is gonna hurt, whether we want it to or not!

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants
Where to start...... Let me start with the cliche that life throws us curveballs and what we do with it is what counts.

One day he walked into my life. UNEXPECTED! And one day he walked out!

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments