I had a realization recently. It sounds kind of silly to share, but perhaps it is news to you also: you can unfriend people on Facebook.
You already knew that? Okay, cool, but do you actually DO it?
Social media, as you well know, is a blessing and a curse. It is cool to be able to keep up with those we care somewhat about, but it also ignites our innermost feelings of not enough, unworthiness, regret, and discontent.
Wouldn't you agree that it is so supremely ridiculous of us to live this way?
Why do we spend so much time on something that occasionally gives us fleeting happiness, but more of the time fills us with an uncontrollable desire for what we don't have?
There are definitely people on my Facebook (and Instagram, and Twitter...) that I knew once in my life, from a mutual friend, a trip, the weary world of high school, whatever, but the thing is, I don't really know them anymore.
Did you hear me?
I don't know them anymore.
Sure, I could probably tell you what is going on in their life, but I don't know why or how or anything else about it.
And honestly?
I don't care.
Do I want these people to be doing well?
Of course!
But that doesn't require my being in their life in any way, including social media.
News flash: if every time someone posts on social media you see it and feel jealous, upset, or unworthy, you can unfriend them.
I'm not kidding. Facebook has an unfriend button for a reason.
You were not made to live a life of jealousy or a life of feeling less-than.
If someone doesn't fit into your life anymore, don't try to shove them into it.
Unfriend them.
It doesn't mean you hate them, it means you care for yourself, and that is healthy.
First of all, they probably won't even notice. Second of all, if you keep stepping away when people are too much, you will most likely spend less time on social media (there won't be as much to see) and you will not feel as many pangs of shame when you do spend some time scrolling.
You are worth that.
Maybe you can't unfriend your coworker or weird uncle or strange cousin or friend who shares way too many things, but there is also this beautiful button that allows you to stay friends and not see their posts unless you seek them out.
It's called controlling the technology rather than allowing the technology to control you.
Does this mean we should only read things, listen to things, or talk about things that we agree with?
Absolutely not.
We should still seek out people who are different from us. We should still converse with those who have views we don't understand. We should not ostracize ourselves from the rest of the world just because we don't like it.
Life is uncomfortable but we can control how much we let technology influence our life, our self-esteem, and our overall wellbeing.
Go for it! Unfriend some people, take control of something that demands to be in control of your life, and thank yourself for it.
Feminism Redefined
