"I have nothing to wear"

We realize that we have a ton of clothes in our closets to choose from. We know that some things are super similar. We know that there are some things we wear all the time and other things that we NEVER wear. Regardless of the Go-Tos or "I'm saving this for a 'special occasion'" (which will probably never happen), there's always an excuse. When we say we have nothing to wear, it means that we don't have anything that we WANT to wear.

This contributes to us taking SO long to get ready. Whether it's a date, a night out with the girls, hanging out with a group, or just another Tuesday, we never have anything to wear. We try to dress to match our mood, but that's still not a guarantee. It never is. If we try something on, thinking that it'll work, there's always something wrong with it SO it goes in the reject pile. As the pile grows, we reach the "I have nothing to wear" stage.

And just to make things more complicated and annoying, we go back to the first outfit we tried on and call it good -OR resort to the Go-Tos that we wear WAY too much- (at least I normally do). We waste all that time and effort and there's usually no way to get around it.

Periods

Guys, let me explain to you how a period works.

Every month, our Uterus starts decorating a nursery. "Just wanted to let you know I have everything prepared for the baby! The nursery looks great and I picked out this pretty wallpaper and I'm gonna read stories to it every night!"

Then we come around and say "Oh.. There's not going to be a baby this month.."

Uterus: ......

Us: "Oh god, please no"

Uterus: .... *trashes everything* *rips off the wallpaper* *screams like an angry baboon*

THIS gentlemen, is what we have to go through. Every time we get a cramp, it's basically our uterus stabbing us with broken pieces of the crib and twisting it. This is why we double over. This is why some (maybe most) women cry during their periods. Our uterus throws a freaking temper tantrum when we don't get pregnant.

By the time the uterus gets tired and forgives us, it goes back to setting up a new nursery with upmost excitement. And when we don't get pregnant, the cycle repeats.

Wanna know what to do? Don't make us do anything. Pamper us. Most women like to eat chocolate, so do that (for some reason, that doesn't work for me, but oh well). Have the heating pad ready to go. Ice cream. Even while we look disgusting, reassure us. The uterus' temper tantrum makes us question everything so be ready for that.

But God help you if you say the wrong thing. Most of the time, we don't know what that wrong thing will be, so tread lightly. Just do NOT say ANYTHING about PMSing. Our uterus will hear that and give us some of that hateful energy to rip you apart.

You have been warned.

Unsolicited dick pics

Just don't. Despite what you think, they are NOT aesthetically pleasing.

When a girl actually asks for them and/or agrees to swap nudes, that's the only time it's okay. But if they're anything like me, the pictures still won't do anything for them. I guess it's to make y'all feel wanted and appreciated? I don't know.

If you send unsolicited dick pics, there's a pretty good chance that her girlfriends will see the pictures so be warned.

Hoodie Theft

Sorry guys, there's no way to get around this one. If your girl takes your hoodie, you probably won't get it back.

And if you try to out-smart us by getting two of the exact same hoodie so both of us have one, that won't work either. You foolish mortals think we won't take the second-twinning hoodie too? HA.

You: "Where do you want to eat?' Her: "I don't know"

I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION.

Instead of asking your girl where she wants to eat, MAKE HER GUESS where you're taking her. Her first guess is where y'all are going.

The code has been cracked and most girls don't even realize this sneaky trick (unless they've seen the Twitter meme).

The silent treatment

Honestly... when we're giving you the silent treatment, USUALLY it's because we want you to figure out what you did wrong for yourselves. But it makes this difficult because sometimes we don't even know the reason. Stupid? I know. But we're girls. What do you expect?

We're waiting for you to come up with a solution to whatever problem we think you caused. Because we're right. Even when we're wrong, we're right.

You've probably found with personal experience that you've always found a way to screw it up and you don't even know how. She freaks out for almost no reason and usually never shares why she's so pissed off.

If you don't wanna take the chance on finding the solution because of even the slightest fear of making it worse SOMEHOW, just chill. Spend time with her, don't do anything stupid on your phone, don't play games online with the guys- just spend time with her. It'll let her know that even though she's freaking out for probably no reason, that you still care. Because what'll happen if you leave? "OH SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET UP AND LEAVE?"

You guys are honestly in a lose-lose situation and I feel for y'all so much. If you know her well enough to leave and let her calm down, then go for it- at your own risk. Just handle the situation calmly and be like "if you need anything, just call or text me. I'll be there."

DO NOT TELL HER TO CALM DOWN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Just give her space SOMEHOW and let her chill. She'll more than likely be over it the next day.

I know this whole thing is giving you mixed messages on what to do, but honestly we don't really know what we want you guys to do, so there you go.