You probably know at least one missionary in the circle of your acquaintances. Sometimes they will be gone for a week, other times they might be gone for a year. Long-term or short-term there are some things we all experience as missionaries that are just hard to explain to the people around us.
1. "How was your trip?" is that hardest question to answer
Asking a question like this is almost as broad as asking how the weather has been for the last month. So many changes happen during trips overseas or even in-country missions. We meet a myriad of new faces, we learn about an entirely foreign culture, we talk to random strangers with complete vulnerability on a day-to-day basis. If we freeze up, it's because we often can't give the answer the time we would like to. Two sentences barely give you enough to explain where you went. So, if you want to ask how the trip was, please understand that our answers will require more time than just passing by and if we ramble on for a while, it's because we have so much to include.
2. American culture is overwhelming
One of the hardest adjustments in coming back home is the culture-shock, only this time in reverse. America is a wonderful place, don't get me wrong, but there are things this country does differently that actually add to the stress. We walk and talk faster, society is more "I-focused" and less "We" or "You-focused," we don't take the time to stop and have genuine conversations on a day-to-day basis because our schedules demand our attention. Every time I come back to the states, I am overwhelmed by grocery stores and malls. It's a blast of sensory overload. Everything is so easily accessible and instant. Many places in the world don't have that luxury of going into a store to grab the bread you forgot to get for dinner. If we seem frustrated with consumerism, it's because we wish we could somehow take all the excess to the people we know are in dire need, but feel helpless to do so.
3. Coming home is incredibly lonely
I don't necessarily mean we feel lonely by the lack of people around us, often we feel lonely for the emotional connections made with the people who served alongside us. We won't always return home to the same places other people on our team return to. Yes, we are surrounded by family and friends, but when you miss the place you were serving in or are trying to process the things that happened on the trip, it's usually only the people who were with you that can help you sort through it. We really want to sort through all the amazing and confusing parts of our time in a different place, but please be patient if we are not able to do that with you.
4. We never seem settled
Coming back to "home base" is always wonderful, but don't be offended if we seem ready to take off. Our hearts have caught the missionary bug and find it hard to be away from where we have served long-term or difficult to not be serving somewhere else for short-term trips. Remind us that we need rest and that seasons of not being overseas are vital for growth too.
5. Small talk isn't a thing for us anymore
As a missionary, it is always your goal to be able to do life with people with as much vulnerability as you can in order to build sweet relationships. Often, the relationships formed during our time away begin in the hardest and most vulnerable parts of people's lives because that is where Jesus loves to meet people. The Gospel is shared and hearts are open, so we jump right in when given the chance. If we come home and seem to be focused on the deeper parts of life, salvation, and people it's because our hearts are so used to those deep friendships. Please don't mistake this for us being serious all the time! Remind us to laugh and experience rich moments of joy as well.
