My self-esteem problems have been crawling in my skin and pulling me beneath the surface since before I was a teenager. Many negative traits are associated with it and some will be discussed in this reading. While this problem has certainly affected me for many years now, I am here to explain how this state of mind works and how it affects others.
"But how can you be typing this article and be part of a writing group in your college if you think so low of yourself?" The answer is not that I have zero self-esteem, but because very little of it. To be successful, you must have some confidence in yourself. Without it, you cannot get anywhere in life. In this article, I will be going over why this is a big problem.
Low confidence leads to depression or it can be a direct result of depression. There are different levels of depression and I believe having low self-esteem is one of them. When people have low self-esteem, they tend to give up on things or put little effort into things because they believe they are no good and that what they are doing is not worth the effort.
When I was a teenager, I was very overweight. Somehow, I was able to swim and post respectable times in swim meets. When my parents and friends encouraged me to join my high school's swim team, I never thought I would be able to do it because of how overweight I was. Regardless, I ended up joining but was still very pessimistic in every aspect of the team. From finishing the sets to even hanging out with the other swimmers on the team.
Even though I was losing a substantial amount of weight in the process, it did not satisfy me. I would stand in the mirror and see my own reflection thinking to myself "I don't see a person who's lost 80 pounds; I still see a fat person." Some would say that I could have used that as motivation to get myself in to even better shape and work harder, but I was unmotivated as a teenager.
My example as a teenager demonstrates why having low self-esteem is unhealthy. People that have this problem are typically introverted and not very outgoing. This results in a distortion development that no one thinks they are good enough, no one cares about them, and that they are not important. This is what is called a Cognitive Distortion but that is another topic for another article.
Low self-confidence comes with many side effects, but I believe the worst one is not liking yourself. It is perfectly normal to not like things about yourself otherwise we wouldn't be human. No one is perfect. However, if you like nothing about yourself, that is a big warning sign. It could lead to self-harm, never being satisfied with anything you do, isolation, and (God forbid) suicide.
The phrase "Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there," is what having low self-esteem is all about. Our self-esteem is instilled in us during our youth and we are taught to believe in ourselves to be successful. Everyone has good and bad qualities about themselves, but having low self-esteem really is an invisible disease.
I personally believe that sometimes when people have low self-esteem, they see themselves as being a certain way or good enough to achieve something and when they don't meet that standard, that is what causes them to think they are no good.
One final example is with myself and my older brother. He is a fantastic artist and he has been one since he was a child. Also, he is very bright and always got great grades in school. I always wanted to be like him because I thought that if I was just like him, then I would be accepted.
When I saw I was a poor artist and that my grades were good but not like his, it made me feel like I was insignificant. I began to think that no one respected me and that I will never be him. While I still do have issues with not liking myself, I also know I don't have to be like my brother to be respected and liked.
By reading this article, I hope you understand better why there are people that think little of themselves and why I also have this problem. It's not because they are whiny and want sympathy from people; it's because lack of self-confidence and depression is an existing problem that needs to be taken more seriously. Everyone is good enough.
You just have to believe in yourself and have the confidence.
