Here is something you need to understand about me. I am the most complicated easy going individual you will ever meet.

Some days, nothing will soothe my mind until I am surrounded by people. It doesn't have to be people I know...just people. Being around others takes away the need I feel to think through every aspect in every part of my life. It helps me feel at ease. But some days, I can't handle anything

.

I need to sit in a dark room and listen to the sound of my heart and just breathe. I will shut my phone off and shut the world out with it. In these times sometimes it doesn't feel like me and that's just how it has to be.

I have this unreal sense of adventure and discovery that will never be settled. Sometimes that discovery has to happen within myself and sometimes it has to be discovering new people. I need someone who can recognize this and accept it.

I am not trying to ignore you specifically and I will not always be that clingy. I have some desires I don't even understand so I don't expect you to get it either. All I ask is that you handle me with patience and a gentle hand.

When I get filled with the giggles and happiness attacks me with the force of of a million lions, I need you to laugh with me and spin me around the room while I stare at you and every reason you light up my life.

When I seem withdrawn and nothing seems to get through to me please understand I do not love you any less. I am so far into my own head that it's just too scary of a place to drag anyone else into. When this happens please be content with a mindless hug or a distance that will never be permanent. I may disappear for days but know that I am missing every second I am not sharing my air with you.

This is something I have to do for me to keep my sanity. I need to look out for myself sometimes.If i don't escape either physically or mentally it may begin to happen on it's own and that's a thought so terrifying I shutter.

I am flawed and I am confusing but there is nothing on this earth that will change the way I am. I do not need to fixing, I need acceptance. To have someone look me in the eyes and smile at me with true understanding and approval would be the end of my hunt for happiness. I would have to stop looking because it would only exist in you.

I do not need another but I crave it. I am a complete puzzle all on my own only searching for the glue to hold the pieces together permanently. Until that day I will work on myself and find who I am meant to be so that when you do enter my life, I can offer my all in return for yours.