Carl Rogers, one of the founders of the Humanistic approach to Psychology, developed a concept called “unconditional positive regard.” The therapeutic technique is rooted in the idea of empathy. In other words, unconditional positive regard simply means listening, accepting, and acknowledging the authenticity of the person you are speaking to, no matter what they tell you. I’ve come to realize that typically when someone confides in me, they aren’t necessarily seeking advice, but instead want some form of validation. A lot of us tend to listen simply in order to respond, though I think it’s important to listen for the sake of listening. When you listen to truly understand, you’ll find that there’s a sense of truth in every word someone says and you can find a way to relate even if it’s in a small, indirect way.
However, in an effort to apply this to a bigger picture, I want to mention something that Cole Sprouse posted on Instagram: “How many sunrises have you honestly seen? I'm of a mind you've seen so many more sunsets. We spend much less effort welcoming the day as we do on its departure, let's shift the ratio a little.”
Evidently, I’m becoming a product of the times I’m living in, as it amazes me how something a celebrity posted on Instagram had the ability to completely shift my outlook. This week, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping. I slept in atrociously late one day over the weekend, and ever since my internal clock has been all out of sorts. However, after seeing Cole’s post, I realized I could take advantage of this temporary inconvenience. When you wake up at 1PM and don’t feel any particular inclination to sleep again until 5AM, the illusion of time starts to dissipate and the hours start to pass you by in a strange way. Dizzied by the sudden pivot from day to night, I thought “Oh. Another day.” Depending on how you look at it, it can either be dreadful or comforting to realize that the sun will forever keep rising, and the day will happen whether or not you acknowledge it.
Acknowledging the day doesn’t have to mean going outside and literally watching the sun rising up over the horizon. It can mean waking up slowly, stretching out a little, taking your sweet time putting on your shoes, or simply laying there with your eyes still closed and remembering what it means to have a whole 24 hours of borrowed time laying right in front of you. Start the day right, in your own light and on your own time. Time is either nothing or everything, but at least pause to consider the possibilities that each new second holds. People say “Good Morning” for a reason- because it’s supposed to be good! The morning promises no attachments. A huge source of light rises to give us energy and keep us warm and in company every single day without fail.
So, I’ve been trying to approach each day in unconditional positive regard. The sun rises, and even if I’m sleepy, I immediately acknowledge and accept the fact that I am here. The day is here too, no matter what it holds in store for me.
Your floor may need vacuuming, there may be 74 days until Christmas, you may miss your mom and have to carry more than you can hold this week, but remember that the sun is rising tomorrow (6:50AM in Medford). Take a minute to re-evaluate what’s around you, give a warm welcome to the sun that has been warming you since before you can remember, and hold the world in unconditional positive regard.
