Why 'Ugly' Girls Have Confidence And The 'Pretty' Girls Don’t

Why 'Ugly' Girls Have Confidence And The 'Pretty' Girls Don’t

Trying to answer life's biggest questions.
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Memes and gifs aren’t to be taken too seriously, but sometimes it becomes personal simply due to life experiences in relation to it. In a world where looks are extremely important (whether we like to admit it or not), a lot of memes do focus on the physical. One of the questions asked is “Why do the ugly girls have all the confidence and the pretty girls don’t?” When I first read it, all I thought was “they have confidence because that is all they have.” The world is a cruel place and it is much worse if one isn’t so “physically appealing,” so if an “ugly” girl has confidence, then she has life. The bigger question in my opinion is so what if an “ugly” girl has confidence, and who said the pretty girls didn’t.

When did a woman’s confidence equal to arrogance and what is so awful about someone feeling good about themselves regardless of the way they were made? It seems as if the quote is misogynistic because no one would ever ask a man why is he confident when he is so “ugly.” In addition, why is it a concern to people that an “ugly” girl could have confidence? Yes, it is a joke, but every “good” joke is taken from reality or one’s perception of it.

Even then, when a "pretty" girl is confident are people satisfied? When a woman know who she is and is confident, wouldn’t she be deemed a bitch? Wouldn’t she be “playing hard to get” and way too high-maintenance? When analyzed it seems to be more of a woman problem than an “ugly” woman issue. Why is everything a woman does have to pertain to her looks? I know, men get judged too, and I’ll cover that another time, but why can’t a woman just be?

As a woman, I have witnessed that women’s looks are always mentioned with their character for some reason and are stereotyped because of their looks. A woman cannot be smart and pretty, and if she is, she is like a Godsend as if women like her don't already exist. A woman can’t be ugly and confident; if she is, she is feeling herself too much and needs to “humble” herself.

Before one asks “why ugly girls have all the confidence and pretty girls don’t,” they should ask themselves why they care if someone finds themselves worthwhile. Isn’t the world harsh enough and would it hurt to have a backbone in an environment where people from time to time try to break each other down? Also why does it matter if she is “ugly” or “pretty,” as if that determines the identity they feel matches them most? Why is it a big deal whether a female is ugly or pretty? These are questions I feel to ask simply because people are more than their faces. The face is just the physical identity of the soul. If one is bothered by the soul not correlating with what the face is believed to represent, the question is not “why the ugly girls are confident.” It becomes: “Why is it not okay in society for someone to know their worth simply because they look a certain way?”

Readers, please feel free to comment on this because I would love to hear your opinions not only on this article, but the question it is asking.

Cover Image Credit: Certanovo

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An Open Letter to the Person Who Still Uses the "R Word"

Your negative associations are slowly poisoning the true meaning of an incredibly beautiful, exclusive word.
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What do you mean you didn't “mean it like that?" You said it.

People don't say things just for the hell of it. It has one definition. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "To be less advanced in mental, physical or social development than is usual for one's age."

So, when you were “retarded drunk" this past weekend, as you claim, were you diagnosed with a physical or mental disability?

When you called your friend “retarded," did you realize that you were actually falsely labeling them as handicapped?

Don't correct yourself with words like “stupid," “dumb," or “ignorant." when I call you out. Sharpen your vocabulary a little more and broaden your horizons, because I promise you that if people with disabilities could banish that word forever, they would.

Especially when people associate it with drunks, bad decisions, idiotic statements, their enemies and other meaningless issues. Oh trust me, they are way more than that.

I'm not quite sure if you have had your eyes opened as to what a disabled person is capable of, but let me go ahead and lay it out there for you. My best friend has Down Syndrome, and when I tell people that their initial reaction is, “Oh that is so nice of you! You are so selfless to hang out with her."

Well, thanks for the compliment, but she is a person. A living, breathing, normal girl who has feelings, friends, thousands of abilities, knowledge, and compassion out the wazoo.

She listens better than anyone I know, she gets more excited to see me than anyone I know, and she works harder at her hobbies, school, work, and sports than anyone I know. She attends a private school, is a member of the swim team, has won multiple events in the Special Olympics, is in the school choir, and could quite possibly be the most popular girl at her school!

So yes, I would love to take your compliment, but please realize that most people who are labeled as “disabled" are actually more “able" than normal people. I hang out with her because she is one of the people who has so effortlessly taught me simplicity, gratitude, strength, faith, passion, love, genuine happiness and so much more.

Speaking for the people who cannot defend themselves: choose a new word.

The trend has gone out of style, just like smoking cigarettes or not wearing your seat belt. It is poisonous, it is ignorant, and it is low class.

As I explained above, most people with disabilities are actually more capable than a normal human because of their advantageous ways of making peoples' days and unknowingly changing lives. Hang out with a handicapped person, even if it is just for a day. I can one hundred percent guarantee you will bite your tongue next time you go to use the term out of context.

Hopefully you at least think of my friend, who in my book is a hero, a champion and an overcomer. Don't use the “R Word". You are way too good for that. Stand up and correct someone today.

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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Death

A thought on what happens after life.

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It's an infinite loop intertwined with life that all humans have to deal with.

It's a looming shadow that leads to a hole in the ground.

It's a terrifying presence in everyday life, and you never really know when the scaly, slithering snake will strike.

It doesn't discriminate; It loves to take the youngest, it loves to take the oldest, and loves to take everything in between.

It's the silence before the storm and the storm itself.

It prowls, it preys, on the weakest.

It is both the biggest, strongest bear and the deadliest bug bite.

Death, it is the blackened stumps of the wildlife caught in the worst of fires.

Yet, it can be beautiful.

Most wouldn't think so, probably have never put "death" and "beautiful" together in the same sentence, let alone even in the same paragraph.

But death is beautiful.

It can be like the last whisper of a fall breeze before winter sets in.

Or is like the sunset, right when the last of the red from the sinking sun fades from the darkened night sky.

It can be the peace on a late Sunday afternoon, sitting in the shade of a giant tree in the summer.

It's like taking the hand of the partner you've decided to live with, even after fighting with them.

It's the hand you use to stroke the head of kittens, and the hand you use to scratch puppies tummies.

It's the hand that gives, but it is also the hand that takes away.

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