This one is for those of us who, at one time or another, had to bury our low insurance rate and watch it pass into the beyond. Maybe you've encountered one of these magnificent beasts, or maybe you are one.
1. The new driver (aka me this past Tuesday).
If one of these hits your car, don't worry about taking a shower that night because we're about to bathe you in a river of tears and apologies. Sirius-ly, this was me last week. It was traumatizing.
2. The one that won't call your insurance.
3. Road rage.
Hi, is this my shrink? I called to say that I might've ended my sessions a bit impulsively *insert awkward laughter here.* What's that, you're free today? Great, I'm just outside your office! Delusional, psychopathic, murderous (OK, not always), no introduction is necessary for the road rage. If you're looking for a way to reconnect with your shrink, crash into one of these.
4. No remorse.
My sole belief in karma is rooted in the fervently, glorious hope that this person one day burns in Hell. Hit me, fine, I'll use your money to fix my car. One thing I can't, unfortunately, use your money for is to fix your attitude.
5. Alternate payment.
Now who hit who doesn't matter, because as soon as the police arrive you'll want to seek protection for a different kind of reason. Never filed for a restraining order? Say hello to another new, if not disturbing, experience in your life.
6. Well, I guess it was my fault.
Now now now, let's not jump the gun here. I hit you, you hit me, what does it even matter? In the end we're both going to die and decay anyway. This is when those witnesses, aka your hoodlum friends in passenger and backseat, really come in handy. No body, no crime is the motto this person lives by.
7. Hello there.
Have mercy, indeed. This is one accident everyone wants, don't even kid yourself. What happens after the accident may not be concrete, but at least there's a possibility of an after. A few tears here and there, and you could find yourself in the arms of a buff, comforting, Adonis, accident temporarily forgotten.
