Anyone who's been to Denny's past midnight knows that it ranks with airports and Costco's for the most Gothic of our American Liminal Spaces. Here are the 12 types of people you are bound to see at a Denny's when you visit them in the witching hours.
1. The waitstaff that deserves better
Let me just put this one out there first: the waitstaff working the night shift at Denny's deserve better. Maybe they have classes during the day, or a second job, or family responsibilities, but whatever landed them in a Denny's at 1:00 AM, they deserve a 25% tip.
2. The family with very young children, which seems wrong
GiphyThey're behaving exactly as they would in a McDonald's at noon, except it's past midnight, and shouldn't they be asleep?
3. The crammer
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that college students in search of a place to study will find one. Denny's may not seem like the obvious choice, but they can keep that coffee coming all night long.
4. The dysfunctional family
This is the family that comes into the restaurant visibly upset with one another, and tensions and voices rise until you have to shout over them just so your waiter can take your drink order.
5. The stoner
This is probably the most obvious one, and there's probably more than one stoner per Denny's when it gets late.
6. The normal-looking couple
One of the most jarring sights of all, the fact that this couple has nothing odd about them makes you all the more suspicious.
7. The children of the corn
They probably like breakfast food too.
8. The moth
He's just flying around, minding his own business..
9. The out-of-state family
This family is clearly passing through. They'd like to get out of here as quickly as possible, but their five-year-old probably woke up screaming about being hungry.
10. The frat boys
These are the freshman frat boys who couldn't find a legal friend to buy them alcohol, so they're eating pancakes. Of course, they'll go back and tell everybody what a wild night out they had.
11. The rowdy theatre kids
God bless and protect you if you happen to go to Denny's the same night as a group of theatre kids celebrating their opening night. Anytime you go to a Denny's past 10, bring a pair of ear plugs, just in case.
12. You
Well, you're there, aren't you? Watching all these people? As if you're not one of them, too?
