Please remember that this article has been written with a heavy dose of sarcasm. There are many great men at Texas A&M with qualities expanding far beyond the fake, close-minded categories I am presenting in this piece. That being said, let’s have a little fun and look at the wonderful variety of men you can find at the great Texas A&M University!

1. The Farm Boy

Fishing hats, t-shirts, Rock Revival jeans with slightly too much stitching, a heavyset belt buckle, and a weathered ring on their back right pocket from cans of Copenhagen. These men are very quaint and always willing to lend a hand. Equipped with a truck that has more horsepower than a number of people in their hometown, these men are always in for a fun ride.

2. The Frat Lord

Sent to college on the haunches of their Daddy’s pocketbook, these default business majors are always dressing to the nines. With whitewash Wrangler Jeans, alligator skin boots, and Vineyard Vines top, you can expect these men to look like a stud at any given moment. Their connections are endless with the fraternal background, you never know who you’ll get to meet when hanging around one of these fellas! One thing is guaranteed, they wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of cargo shorts.

3. The Cowboy

Let me preface this gentleman with the answer to a common misconception that The Farm Boy and The Cowboy are the same boy. THIS IS FALSE. The Cowboy is entirely different. The Cowboy could be from a small or large town, but all that’s required is for them to have a passion for Western-wear and Western culture. The Cowboy may not know how to wrestle a steer, but you’ll never catch him without a pair of boots and Wranglers on. Clear the dance floor at Hurricane Harry’s, because he and his lady will own it every time.

4. The Hipster Guy

This guy has style. He is usually either from out-of-state or Austin, Texas. They’ve got the lace up boots, skinny jeans, and anything creative or odd that can be draped over one’s body. Get this, if they’re wearing glasses, there’s a solid chance they don’t even have prescription lenses. Regardless, they still look to be the coolest of the cool. A conversation with them can be spacey and rare, but it will surely be memorable. These guys don’t always have much to say, but when they do, it is usually very meaningful.

5. The Granola Dude

Mountains. Frisbees. Flannels. This dude is Earthy and loves to be outdoors. Anything adventurous is right up his alley. Biking, hiking, climbing, he loves all of it! The Granola Dude is usually quite happy all the time resulting from a dopamine rush from whatever high octane experience they just had. A fun guy to be around, just make sure you’re ready for spontaneous adventure!

6. The Tech Guy

Every knee will bow on the hallowed grounds of the MSC Underground where this man has no match on the GameCube console. Whether it’s Super Smash Bros. (Melee not Brawl…), Resident Evil 4, or World of Warcraft, these guys are unprecedented in skill. Video games are not their only expertise, however! They can solve just about any computer issue you have, and code you your own website in the same sitting. The Tech Guy isn’t necessarily an open book to talk to but can be a very loyal friend when he opens up to you.

7. The Organizations Man

Men’s orgs. Student Council. FLOs. Anything. Anything to get involved, be involved, and stay involved for the entirety of their day. Make sure to bring your planner when trying to hang out with this guy, because come unprepared, and your time with him will evaporate in an instant. These guys are usually destined for success but struggle with spreading themselves too thin. The Organizations Man is also very manner-oriented and professional, how else could he have gotten into his 17 organizations?