I woke up this morning

I woke up this morning feeling stale

I didn't feel bad, nor did I feel good

I felt the need for change

I felt the need for a cleanse

I wanted to get out of myself

I didn't want to be inside my own body

I didn't want to be inside my own head

So before I got done up for the day, I put on a face mask

I've been having trouble with my words lately

I've been having trouble catching my breath

I feel as if I do not only slur my words,

but my thoughts are beginning to stutter

I put on this face mask so the impurities from every part of me would surface

I could wash them away.

Some places blame our planets and stars for the way things are turning out

Some blame the inevitable process of "growing up"

I, for one, do not place blame on anything but my inability to release guilt;

to release pain;

to accept that time goes by.

Mainly I blame my mind for taking up so much room in my chest that my soul has no space to breathe

The guilt of self deprecating oppression has led my lungs to compress and has left my soul distressed,

and there is no room for revival

Only rebirth.

So before I got into bed tonight I put on another face mask because it's the closest I could get

As more impurities surface, my thoughts are racing

It's funny how your body reacts to sadness and discomfort,

how your thoughts run differently in the night than the day.

It's funny how incarcerating your thoughts can make you,

how freeing your words can be.

How scary it is to know what you want

In a world where you're encouraged to go with the flow.

We are encouraged to let things and people come to us

But if everyone follows that philosophy..

Won't we all just be waiting endlessly?

I want to thank you for reading this..

These have been the thoughts of a young adult who has washed off two face masks today.