For those of you who don’t know, I just turned twenty-one! That’s right, I am officially a full-blown adult and I can say with confidence I am not ready! When someone grows into adulthood, it can be a very scary experience and many probably don’t even know what the heck they’re doing. So even though I am definitely one of those “adults” who have no idea what’s going on, considering most of my life has been an absolute cringe-fest, I think I have gathered enough useful knowledge which I can now pass down to those of you reading this. Hopefully, some of this advice will actually help you as you scramble to figure out how to be a real adult and as you continue on your life journey.

1. Sometimes as you grow up, you lose friends.

This can be for a lot of reasons, but if it’s because you learned they aren’t really your friends, those are the people to avoid. Even if you feel like you’ll never meet another person like them again, you should never stay in any toxic relationship. And don’t worry: as someone who has gone through this in the past many times, I can tell you with confidence you will find the right people to be with forever.

2. Don’t be afraid to have adventures.

Do things with your friends you’d never think to do, like take a weekend trip or even something simpler. These kinds of things will bring you all closer together and help you learn things about your friends you wouldn’t have figured out otherwise.

3. Don't take people's crap.

For me, it took me a very long time to learn to stand up for myself and by a long time, I mean nineteen years. In fact, I remember the day when I finally decided I wasn't going to be pushed around anymore. A coworker of mine snapped at me for no reason other than I accidentally bumped into her and even though I apologized, she kept coming at me because she was having a bad day. So, as she kept yelling at me, I just looked at her and told her off. And you know what? It was the best feeling in the world. Don't be a doormat and let people walk all over you. It's not good for you and if other people see it happen, they'll think it's okay for them to do it to you and it'll create a never-ending cycle. Just don't let people treat you like crap. It's not fun and it'll feel so good when you finally do snap back and tell those people to go screw.

4. You know what feels right and what doesn’t, so it should ultimately always be up to you to make a decision on how to address a problem.

You could probably apply this to a lot of things.

5. Your mental health is uncompromisable.

If there is something in your life causing serious problems, open up about it to someone--trusted friends, family, or a physician--and find a solution. Nothing should come before your mental health.

6. Never let a seemingly impossible obstacle overcome you.

I hit a very low point early this year before I made the decision to switch to English. Fortunately, even though I was in a very dark and scary place, I had the support and help of my family to get me through it. Don’t ever let anything make you think you’re worthless or your life isn’t worth living anymore. Nothing in life is worth more than your life.

7. When presented with an opportunity to do something you love, take it!

Maybe you were good at singing and acting in high school and you want to continue doing it in college. Don't be afraid to go through the whole process all over again because you might learn something new. This is certainly something I wish I had done.

8. Your passions are never a waste of time.

If you spend a lot of time doing something you love, even if you might not be able to make a career out of it, keep doing it. No one, especially your parents, should try to convince you otherwise. In fact, the people you are close with should only encourage you to continue pursuing what you love and who knows! Maybe you can turn it into a career! You never know unless you try.

9. Know your limits.

This doesn't have to apply just to drinking. If you have to get up early for work or classes the next day, don't force yourself to stay up all hours of the night with your friends, especially if you know you can't handle it. Maybe your friends are doing something you can't join in on or something you're not particularly thrilled about being a part of. Just because they're your friends doesn't mean you have to do everything with them. And if they're truly your friends, they'll understand and maybe they'll even come up with another group activity.

10. Keep things that have sentimental value.

There are a ton of things I wish I kept, like old journals, and other things. Holding on to certain awards or notebooks or anything else, in particular, can turn into really nice memories and they'll always be there for you to look back on.

11. Don't overwhelm yourself during the school year.

I know I mentioned this in last week's article, but it's so true! If you spend all your free time shifting through your syllabus or class schedule and looking at what you have due weeks or months from now, you will have a breakdown. It's not worth it and I'm almost positive it's just going to take years off your life. If you're really worried you have certain assignments due in the next week or so, just look for that stuff. There's no point in looking at what you have due in October or November when it's still the middle of September. It's only going to give you a stress-induced heart attack. Just go through the semester one week at a time and you'll be fine.

12. Since we're on the topic of school, here's some really great advice for you freshmen, sophomore, and even juniors...

DON'T BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS RIGHT AWAY. WAIT UNTIL THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES. I cannot stress this enough. Even if the textbooks are all listed for on your college's website, that doesn't mean you have to buy them. You will save so much money by just waiting to see if your professor really requires that hundred-dollar or more textbook. Most professors are very understanding and know college students are broke as hell, so they'll be real with you in saying you probably won't need it. Those are usually the really chill ones.

13. Even if you don’t think it will last, try and stay organized.

This doesn’t even have to apply to school. Get yourself a planner or agenda or whatever you call them and write down all the important things you need to do, or even just make a to-do list to remind yourself of tasks you have to complete every day. Feeling organized can really help lower your anxiety levels and will give you the confidence you need to tackle the day.

14. Find something you really don't like about yourself and try your damnedest to love it or change it if possible.

Yes, it seems impossible and yes, it will probably take a very long time to get used to it. But you will just have to realize whatever you don't like about yourself is a part of you and you'll just have to accept it, unless it's something you have to power to control or change. Plus, like a lot of things, hating yourself for something you can't change will only take years off your life and will only lower your self-esteem. Just learn you are who you are and maybe what you think is imperfection is actually a really unique and beautiful quality to someone else.

15. Sometimes, your parents aren't always right and sometimes you need to make mistakes and learn from them on your own.

Now, I'm not saying you should constantly disobey your parents because nine times out of ten, they are right and then you'll have to hear them say "I told you so" for days or weeks on end. What I am saying is sometimes, even if your mom or dad has a bad feeling about you doing something you're really excited about, maybe take their thoughts and opinions into consideration but make your own decision. I remember back in April of my junior year, my friends and I were taking a RIC trip to New York City and my mom wasn't sure about letting me go because I have a terrible sense of direction and sometimes I get distracted really easily. But I reassured her, remembered everything she told me to be careful of, and I went for a weekend to NYC. And everything was fine and we had a great time. So sometimes you just have to do things on your own in order to gain experience or learn from mistakes.

16. Don't be afraid to do something new and exciting for yourself.

When I was in middle school and high school, I always wanted to cut my hair short because I had really long, plain brown hair. But everyone around me kept telling me I wouldn't look good with short hair. And look at me now! People will always have their own opinions and even though I've had short hair for a year or more now, my sister still sometimes tells me she doesn't like it. And I'm sure if any of you decide to something like that, people will tell you how much they don't like it. Well, guess what?! It's not their hair or their body, so they don't have to worry about it! And that's all you need to say. As long as you love it and you can take care of yourself and maintain whatever you decide to do to your hair or get on your body, no one else should matter.

17. Don’t binge-watch a series when you have exams coming up.

Towards the end of my junior year in high school, I started watching a show called “Supernatural” and it was up to season ten. I was able to get through the seven seasons available on Netflix in three weeks. You can probably imagine how well my exams went. Even if spoilers surround you, dear God, don’t put off exams to watch a series that’s going to be on a platform for months. It’s seriously not worth it. Just wait until the summer or your next vacation. Unfortunately, your grades are more important than the fate of the Winchesters.

18. You can’t change who you were back in middle school.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I often find myself reflecting for no apparent reason on the awful memories I have from the early 2000s and cringing. Although I’ve said to many people I would like to punch middle school me, you can’t. Sometimes, you just have to accept that’s who you were, present tense. Hopefully, you’re no longer the person you were when you hit puberty and you’ve grown. At some point, you just have to learn to live with the terribly cringey mistakes you made but maybe you’ll find some solace in realizing you’ve changed.

19. On that same note, instead of giving your middle school self a black-eye, you could just give them a Xanax because they need to chill the hell out.

20. Laughter is always the best medicine.

I know this might sound like a really stupid phrase and something you hear your parents say all the time, but it’s one hundred percent true. Earlier this year, I had a death in the family. Now, mind you, I had other family members pass but they were usually only distant cousins or great-great-something-or-others who I’d never really met. In April, I had lost my grandfather—my mom’s dad—who I was very close to. The loss hit me and my family very hard, especially because I was on a trip with my friends and I ended up finding out about it via Facebook. I was devastated and I felt so sad and depressed, I thought I’d never get over it. Fortunately, I have incredible friends who invited me over the day after I returned home to just hang out. When I got there, I was expecting my friends to start asking me how I was doing but, instead, we just sat around and laughed and played video games. For me at that time, all I needed was a distraction; something to keep my mind off the heartache. And my friends helped me do that in spades by making me laugh. I am truly grateful to them for that and that really was the day I realized laughter can get you out of the worst of your ruts.

21. And lastly, even though this might sound like a cliche, one of the most important things for you to ever do is learn to love yourself.

Like Advice Number twenty, I’m sure you’ve heard this all the time but it’s true. As someone who has struggled with anxiety, medically-induced depression, and an eating disorder, it’s incredibly difficult to find the good qualities in yourself when all you seem to see are the bad ones. And I’m not saying you’ll learn how to do this in a few days, weeks, or months; it’s going to take a very, very long time. But once you realize you are who you are, everything gets better and there will be days when this seems impossible. However, if you push through those bad days, there will always be a better and brighter one tomorrow. I’m going to tell everyone reading this the exact same thing I told my baby sister before she went off to college. If you can’t learn to love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to love you or respect you. You can’t spend the rest of your life putting yourself down and hope to find validation in someone else. That is a one-way ticket to Doomsville. You will never be able to create a lasting, loving relationship if you can’t find it within yourself to accept who you are. And the first step to doing this is not caring about what other people think. I know this might sound extremely difficult—especially to those just like me who suffer from anxiety—but believe me when I say it is possible. And once you stop caring so much about what complete strangers think when they look at you, you’ll be on the road to learning to love yourself. I can’t promise the journey won’t be long and difficult and could be filled with heartache; sometimes a part of this process is letting go of things and people who have nurtured your self-hatred. But letting go of all that BS will make you a better person. You have to have respect and love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love and respect you.