Stop Ghosting And Just Be Honest
Start writing a post
Dating

I'd Rather Be Told The Truth Than Be Ghosted

Being ghosted sucks -- I'd rather know the truth than be left wondering what I possibly could've done wrong.

547
I'd Rather Be Told The Truth Than Be Ghosted
https://unsplash.com/photos/BjhUu6BpUZA

I was just ghosted for the first time, and I didn't realize how much it actually sucked. "Ghosting" refers to the act where people disappear by deleting you off social media, never again answering texts, essentially cutting all forms of communication without warning or explanation.

This was the first time I really put myself out there, never having dated before. I met a guy on Bumble, a dating app, and we chatted pretty steadily throughout the week. He seemed sweet, and I enjoyed talking to him.

So, we made plans. He came to visit. We cuddled, he kissed me (which was my first kiss), and we napped together. He was warm and he smelled good. We laughed a lot, and I thought we had a good time. When my mom called and asked me how it went, she also asked, "Is he gonna come back?" I replied, "I hope so."

The next day, I discovered he deleted me off Snapchat and read, but didn't reply to, my texts.

I'll be straight up: I know I'm not the hottest girl out there. I struggled with acne until late last year, I'm chubby, my left hand is deformed, and I have scars on my hips from invasive surgeries. My front teeth are crooked. I'm definitely awkward. I get nervous about everything. I've only been kissed twice (both by the boy who inspired this article), and I've never dated before.

I just want it to be known that despite my "awkward" quirks and disabilities, I am comfortable with myself. I struggle with feeling good enough though, and this event was only a slap in the face — I really felt bad about myself. What was it that I had done wrong? Why wasn't my best good enough for this guy?

Was it because I told him I was nervous about kissing him? I had only told him that to avoid this exact situation, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested in him. Was it because I fell asleep while we were cuddling? Or was he grossed out by my deformed left hand or my hip scars?

The day following all I really wanted was a reason why -- to know what I did wrong. Maybe getting an explanation would've hurt more than not getting one, but I think I would've preferred knowing than this endless cycle over-analyzing everything that I did and said that day.

I spent a lot of time upset over how this guy made me feel, and wishing things were different. What if I had tried harder? Maybe that wouldn't have changed anything, and I'd still be in the same situation.

I leaned on my friends, though, who reminded me that this was a lesson - maybe I just needed to know I could open myself up and it's not as scary as it seemed. And I guess, in the grand scheme of things, I'm glad he ghosted me before I started having real feelings for him.

Being ghosted sucks.

I'm not entirely sure why it's so hard to say, "Hey, I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work out" but I'm trying not to let myself be concerned about that anymore. I'm trying to remember what this is teaching me and be better for it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71509
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

133503
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments