It’s not you, it’s me. A cliche constantly being mocked. How dare me, right? Cliche or not, it is true. When I told you that, I was not searching for a line to use or a cover-up for other reasons. It was not you. It was not the way you tried to share my sauces, the hour it took you to get ready before we would go somewhere, or even the horrible CDs you listened to. There was no underlying, deal-breaking issue and I realize that is hard to swallow. Heck, it is hard for me to swallow. I wish you had done something awful, something to make it much easier to walk away and not think of you, but you still walk on sunshine to me.

I need time and space. (Cliche again, right?) In our relationship, you gave me plenty of both. You gave me the space and encouragement I needed to be myself. You were patient when I needed time to figure things out when I was unsettled and, miraculously, each time you heard “I just need a minute,” you gave me just that. You were wonderful. You are wonderful. It is truly not you. The “time and space” I need now is different.

I need time to be completely occupied by my own opinions and time to explore my beliefs without considering someone else's thoughts. It has been a very long time since I made a decision just for me, and this was a huge one. I am terribly sorry to have hurt your heart in the making of this decision, and I am sorry it was not up for much debate. Moreover, I am even more apologetic for not being able to give you an understanding of why this is happening. It would be much easier to explain if I completely understood it myself, or if one of us did something terrible. Tucking away an unhealthy relationship is heartbreaking, but tucking away a happy relationship because someone “needs time?" Believe me, I realize how crazy it sounds. I contemplated, and still do, whether or not this is right, but I woke up one morning with a desire to be alone, and I cannot ignore my heart.

Being alone does not lessen my love. I loved you the day I woke up and wanted to be alone, the day I told you about the feeling, and today as I write about it. I am carrying your love with me (West Virginia down to Tennessee -- I know the song came to your head), and I hope you are carrying mine. I have all of the well wishes in the world for you, and you are on my mind every day. I wonder about you and want to know you are well. Selfishly, I still want to be bringing you happiness. However, I wish you happiness, no matter what/who brings it to you.

I want to learn about myself without trying to teach someone as I learn. I want to make decisions that will not affect anyone but myself. I will not worry "Does ____ agree?" because it won't affect you now. I will travel and not have to worry about missing time with you. I will stay out late without calling to say goodnight. I will get what I want, unaware of what you think of it.

They say time and growth are the only things that heal a heart, but after some time, my heart still hurts. I hurt because I know I hurt you. Furthermore, my heart hurts because a piece of it is missing. You still have my heart, I just need to explore it on my own. I wish you time to explore and happy days. I will seek a great perhaps (you read my favorite book, so you understand this, too.) As you are you and I am I, perhaps we will see each other, think of one another, and maybe find each other again.