Summer, between third and fourth grade, I spent my days at day camp while my parents worked. Our days were filled with games, crafts, pool time, and field trips – endless fun for all of the campers. Except for me. Each day, when my mom would come to sign me out, I would run to her and bury my face in her stomach, doing everything I could to hold back the tears I felt welling up from the sickening empty feeling in my heart. What was wrong with me? Why was I sad all the time? As soon as the summer ended and I returned to school, I began to feel better, however, each summer, the sad, empty feeling would return. Finally, when I was fifteen, I asked for therapy. I was tired of feeling this way, and even though I was afraid of what people would think, I just needed to stop the horrible sensation of a hollow heart.
Once a week, I went to Kristin for a 30-minute talk therapy session. At first, it was really uncomfortable. I didn't know if I could trust her, and frankly, 30 minutes spilling your guts to a perfect stranger is pretty awkward. That is, until you realize that it isn’t. It is their job to help you, just as it's a doctor’s job to help you when you have the flu, or even a broken leg. Therapy, I learned, is nothing like how it’s portrayed in movies or TV shows, and by extension, how it is popularly understood. Your therapist will not make you lie on a couch, they won't ask you, “…and how do you feel about that?” over and over for an hour and look at you like you have a third eyeball in the middle of your forehead, and they definitely will not think you are crazy. Because you aren’t. Your therapist is there to help you, not judge you, and just because you go to therapy does not mean you’re crazy. Imagine a friend who is always on your side, who will listen to you talk about yourself for an hour each week without judgement, interruption, or personal connections. Kristin was not only an incredible listener, but also she had a way of unraveling my seemingly tangled life and leading me to clear, simple, unraveled solutions that I came up with on my own, with just the extra little nudge of her questions. Slowly but surely, the empty feeling began to fade. My friends and family who had been so concerned about me began to notice changes, too, and people stopped asking me all the time, “Are you okay?”
Some people are afraid to ask for therapy because they think it's an admission of being "crazy," however, I'm here to say that continuing to live with the pain is crazier than asking for the help you need. When you break your leg, you don't ignore it. You go to the emergency room and get a cast. Not all examples of injury (or mental health) need be this extreme, however. Think about even a small cut: you clean it out and cover it with a Band Aid. The same principle should apply with mental health - you could have full-blown depression, or maybe you're just a little over stressed. Either way, you should seek help. So why is it so difficult for so many people to ask for the help they need? Why is it so easy to ask for a ride to the hospital, or even a Band Aid, but not for therapy? Just because you can't see the problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Often times it's hard for people to admit they need therapy because they are afraid people will misunderstand and judge them. This is a pattern that needs to be corrected. Want to know what’s crazier than asking for therapy (read: asking for the help you need)? Not asking for therapy. If you are feeling alone, stressed, depressed, or out of control, there are innumerable trained professionals who would love to help you, not to mention loved ones who will support you in your decision to seek help. To some, therapy is an expensive luxury. Luckily for us, most college campuses offer free counseling and talk therapy services through their health centers. They understand what a difficult and stressful time college can be, and provide these resources so that students can get the help they need. Just remember that you are not alone.
