Being an extrovert is seen as easy: you’re outgoing, talkative and friendly. Everyone finds you easy to talk to, and it’s easy for you to make friends. While all of this is true, many people don’t see the other side of it. The hardships of being an extrovert are rarely talked about. Because of this norm that people know about you, they expect you to be like that all of the time. People expect you to always be outgoing and talkative. At lunch, dinner, events and even just in passing. It seems like people expect you to always be in a good mood.
But it’s not possible to always be happy or in a good mood. Aren’t you allowed to have bad days, too? If you see someone you know in passing and say hi, aren’t you allowed to not be smiling or happy? Because of this expectation of you, a lot of times you find yourself trying to talk more and making an effort to be outgoing. While you certainly are outgoing, you find the need to be even more so, which influences your actions. A lot of times I find myself putting on the façade of being happy and smiling so as to assure others that I am living up to what they want me to be.
A lot of people think that being an introvert is hard, and that being an extrovert is not. But I think that being an extrovert can be harder. If you’re an introvert, you can always come out of your shell and become more comfortable with people and outgoing; if you’re an extrovert, it can be hard to live up to the expectations that come with it, as well as feeling like you’re annoying.
I often find myself not comfortable with silence when I’m with my friends, then I feel compelled to fill it and talk. Talk about anything, just to keep a conversation going. I feel like it’s my job to keep the conversation going if there isn’t one, which can be a lot of pressure.
On the other hand, I often feel annoying when I talk too much. I always have stories, questions, or things to say and tell. But I sometimes feel like I don’t give my friends enough opportunities to talk and feel like I’m annoying them by talking so much. Sometimes I think I like the sound of my own voice too much (not literally though, because I hate hearing my voice on tape and realizing that’s what it sounds like to other people).
Also, everyone thinks that extroverts are always confident in themselves. That’s not necessarily true. I know that I’m not as confident as I would like to be, but I definitely want to appear so to others. And I’m working on being confident by the “fake it 'til you make it” mentality. So far, I think it’s working.
So as you can see, there’s more to being an extrovert than meets the eye. While we are outgoing, it can be a lot of pressure to always be in a good mood, the life of the party and the conversation starter. There’s also a lot of self-consciousness that comes with being an extrovert, such as thinking that we might be too annoying by talking a lot. All of this is rarely talked about, and should be brought to light. It’s important to realize that there’s more to being an extrovert than being happy all of the time. We struggle with ourselves, too.
