On November 9th I woke up to a text from my friend saying that Trump has won. Before falling asleep that night, I prayed from all my heart for Hilary's victory. But not everything goes as you want it to go. I woke up with this weird feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of emptiness. I went to sleep in the land of the free but woke up in a place where I was The Other, the unwanted. This was literally how I felt that morning.

Moving on I tried to forget it and put it behind me. I tried to stay off social media so that this negativity affect me. But I got a text from one of my friends telling me that one of the guys we met over the summer was being very disrespectful on one of her posts on Facebook. I couldn't help but comment back. During this heated argument, he in a very subtle way, said what he wanted to say from the very beginning:

1. You are not an American Citizen and you shouldn't be even arguing on this topic.

2. If you have a problem with the new President than get the hell out of here.

How will that make you feel? I was straight up bullied by this guy who was very patriotic about his country. I was hurt to extent where I had to leave the conversation. My first thought was that doesn't the Bill of Rights applies to all people within the United States regardless of their immigration status? How can this person defy me from the right that I have just for being here.

Not just that, over the span of few days I got to know that people that are really close to me also voted for Trump. Some of my fellow students voted for him. Most of my college town voted for him.

I am quoting my friend Hitesh who spoke my mind in one of his posts regarding what international students feel like after the election.

Maybe he deserves a chance. Maybe he will be the President for everyone, and he only said those nasty things to win. What can we do about it now, right? Nothing. But just remember that he got elected because of those very hateful rhetoric and threats that he built his campaign on. People who elected him want to break families, deport millions, take away women rights, LGBT rights, harass/shoot Muslims and people of color and what not. So, while it is easier for Trump supporters to move on with their normal life after this election, people like us have to live in constant fear of physical and mental violence that we have seen his people committing to us and to people like us, who don't have white skin and an American passport. You have the privilege to walk around anywhere without any fear of gratuitous hate. but I can't even walk a mile without random person yelling at me, asking me to "go back to my country," It is worse if I am a Muslim, wearing a hijab. Do they deserve to be looked upon like they're criminals? And their faith as a "problem"?

I am sure people in my college are not anything like Trump. They might not be racist, misogynistic or xenophobic or anything of that sort. They might have liked some of his policies such as tax cuts (very popular one) and bringing the jobs back to the US. Or just that their beliefs aligned with the Republican Values. I respect that wholeheartedly. But one thing that they overlooked was that they gave into all the hatred he was boosting about. They fell pray to his schemes. They have to realize that they are equally at fault for all kind of hate crime going around the country as their vote gave a signal to all hate mongers to be racist openly. They legitimatized their actions by voting for a person who sponsors all the hate which might be worst than the post 911. These wrongdoers are free to discriminate on the basics of race, sexual orientation, religion and gender identity because the new elect president fosters all the mentioned ideologies. All those who voted for Trump have to realize that they have condoned this hate crime and are equally at fault.

People have been telling me that I am overreacting and taking all of this personally. So let me tell you why.

I am women from a country that has a Patriarchal social system. Where misogyny is justified and there are laws that protect misogyny. Where a man takes decisions for women. Feminism and female empowerment are are jokes for the society. Where speaking your mind is referred to as being uncivilized and impolite. Where defending yourself against male cyber bullies is something that earns you a bad reputation. where a woman is slut-shamed because of her choice of clothing. Where my dad had to face ugly backlash from my family just because he was sending his daughter alone to study abroad. Where my Mother was asked to marry off her daughter after my fathers's demise. For me when I came to the States it was not just about getting a good education. It was about getting a voice. It was about being a female and being proud of it. So when someone tries to take that voice from me just because of my skin color, my religion and my gender I won't just sit quietly and let it happen.

My parents have invested thousands and thousand of dollars on my sibling's high school education by sending them to private educational institutes so that they get a great education which will smoothen their paths for getting admission in the United States Universities. Now I am thinking that will my siblings be able to get the American education that they always dreamt of having? Will they be deprived of the education that they wanted since childhood just because they are Muslim and hail from Pakistan?

Moreover, I am scared for my mother. She is living her dream through me and she wants to see me graduate. I am not sure if my mother will be seeing her first child graduate from the college. And that hurts me. It truly does. So for everyone who thinks that I shouldn't take it personally I will because it as personal as it gets.

I have been given suggestions to change my religion just so that I don't get discriminated. I have also been told to tell that I am from India so that people don't call me a terrorist. I have been told to shut up because it will make me a target. All these suggestions come because people care about my safety. But I don't care about my safety. I will speak my mind. And I will do so as a Muslim Brown Woman who is proud of who she is!