I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, and (spoiler alert) I’m going to continue doing stupid things forever. But, as an almost 21 year old, I can without a doubt say that the most embarrassing years of my life thus far have been the years from the beginning of middle school all the way until about the middle of my sophomore year of high school. Also known as the years of my tween/teen angst. I was a wannabe scene queen, an alternative punk unicorn; I could go on about the names I actually called myself. Let’s take a mortifying look back at who I used to be. Maybe some of you current tweens/teens could learn something from this, because if you can relate to any of it, you’re going to be embarrassed by it one day. I can promise you that.
Saying I cringe when I look back at old photos of myself is a complete understatement. Who honestly let me leave the house looking the way I did? My black eyeshadow was all the way up to my awfully drawn-in eyebrows. My black eyeliner was smeared underneath my eyes while thick wings lined the top of my lid. Oh, but get this: no mascara. Why didn’t I wear mascara with this look? It was black, which was the go-to color when painting up my face. Now onto my nails. They were always black, which was fine, because I still wear black nail polish to this day. I could have left it that way, but no. I had to pick at my polish until it was chipped. I thought it made me look edgy and different. I wanted to look like I didn’t care how I looked, even though I spent hours picking at my polish so it would look chipped in just the right and gritty way. That makes sense, right?
Next stop is my hair. The beginning of middle school is when I started dying my hair nonstop, something that honestly hasn’t changed to this day. But the second I thought I could pull off (what else) BLACK hair was the day I should have had an intervention (thanks Mom). My skin was the color of toilet paper, and I constantly looked dead even when my hair wasn’t dark. So what in God’s name made me think black hair on the pale corpse that I was, was a good idea? Even more than that, I just had to go and get the scene haircut. I’m sure most of you know what I’m talking about: razored ends and bangs that take up at least three fourths of your face. Layers on layers and teasing every section of your hair. Oh, and don’t forget to stick a few bows and fake pink extensions in – and ta da! “Scene queen” extraordinaire.
Lastly, to top off my angsty teen look, we get to the clothing. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by the “Rawr means I love you in dinosaur” saying or any other similar quotes. Raise your hand if you went the extra mile by having those words on the clothing you wore in public. Don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about. I bought my skinny jeans in every color of the rainbow at least two sizes too tight (oh hey there, camel toe). My t-shirts consisted of everything from Never Shout Never song lyrics to pandas wearing hipster glasses all the way down to sad robots eating cupcakes. Pretty much whatever was in stock at Hot Topic. Studded belts, chains hanging from belt loops: need I go on? I had it all, and I wore it proud.
To be fair, our tween/teen years were actually some of the hardest years of our lives. We were trying to find out who we are while also dealing with things like puberty, crushes, and who to pick as our top Myspace friend. I can admit I was an angsty teen/wannabe scene kid/aspiring emo all mixed into one. Yes, I was a mess. But there really is no harm in going the extra mile to find out who and what you are as you’re approaching adulthood. Have fun during this period in your life. Make mistakes, because as embarrassing as they’ll be in the future, they’re actually pretty fun stories to tell. And truthfully, sometimes I miss wearing giant black hair bows, raccoon-like eye makeup, and my “Muffins are just ugly cupcakes” t-shirt.
Ok. I don’t miss it that much.
